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1-23-09 - Smile

This session's question:

Why do you rarely smile? You look so adorable when you smile?

(Locke) Well...uh...I guess...I...

(Sonia) Psst.

(Locke) ...?

(Sonia) We can use this as a "business opportunity."

(Locke) ...o.o Okay?


(Kuri) D: Not "THE STAGE!"

(Sonia) THE STAGE!

So the team drags in a stage, complete with frilly yellow curtains.


Elizabeth replaces the curtains with black velvet, red-lined drapes.

(Kai) That looks like Dracula threw up!

(Sonia) TRY AGAIN!

Locke puts up...you know. Theater curtains. Spotlight~

(Sonia) Focus that camera on me. Okay...Gabby, it's like this. You see...poor Locke has a rare disease called "antismileyosis." This...horrible, horrible disease causes a gradual degradation of all the smile muscles in Locke's face...in severe cases, the victim's face will eventually droop like a bloodhound's! So you see, for this story to go on successfully, Locke will need a social-life-saving operation that will literally turn that frown upside down and allow him to smile as he's always wanted to, for the perfect close-ups! But for this to happen...we need...you. Yes, you. The Locke-loving fans. We need you to make a...small, small donation. Those pennies left over after you buy your video games and visit the arcade. Won't you donate them and see a poor disabled bishounen smile as he's never smiled before?

(Locke) ...This is the lamest bit you've ever done, Sonia.

(Sonia) For your donation of $50, we'll send you this lovely set of Locke commemorative stamps! He'll even autograph them on the backs with his tongue!

(Locke) ...No I won't. >.>;

(Sonia) Operators are standing by for your call. :D We won't resume the manga until we reach our donation level of $1500! Locke, tell them about the superb gift they'll get at the $150 level! We only need ten of these donations!

(Locke) Uh...I'll...walk your dog, I guess.

(Sonia) Let's go to our operators and see how many donations we've received so far!

(Rose, sitting by a phone filing her nails) ...Uh...o.o; Am I on TV?

(Sonia) Actually, you're on Ask-A-Character Friday!

(Rose) ...I forgot to touch up my roots. ._.

(Sonia) Uh...there you...have it. o.o

(Kai) For your donation of $1500, we'll GIVE LOCKE TO YOU!

The phone rings.

(Rose) ...Hello? o.o

...Locke? It's your mom. She says to quit putting yourself up for sale. And smile when you're on AACF.

(Locke) ...D'oh. @_@

1-9-09 - Dog Pants

This session's question:

Why is it that Tremble, who is so suave and gentlemanly, doesn't wear pants?


*A hush falls over the room.*

(Kai) ...DOG! >O

(Tremble) Yes?

(Sonia) Actually, that's a really good question. O_o Why DON'T you wear pants?

(Tremble) Have you ever seen a dog wearing pants?

(Sonia) ...Well...on those funny animal shows they...

(Kai) TREMBLE! Don't run the chicks off with your nakedness! GO PUT SOME PANTS ON!

(Tremble) ...And where, pray tell, do you want me to get a pair of pants that fits? O_o


(Tremble) Ah. You mean a "Pet Fashion Boutique."

(Kai) ...

(Tremble) Yes?

(Kai) What's a boo-teek.

(Tremble) ...

(Sonia) Uh...maybe they have a point. I mean, a non-talking dog not wearing pants doesn't offend anyone, but, you know, a smart dog in pants just seems more...kosher somehow.

(Tremble) Hmm. So you're saying, when I use my Intellecta-Ray (patent pending) on all the animals on earth, wearing pants should be a prerequisite?

(Sonia) ...Uh...

(Tremble) Ah, yes...|3 I can see it now. My armies marching across the landscape in the world's most comfortable pants...

(Kai) What kinda pants are those? O_o

(Tremble) A kilt. Wahaha. :3

(Kai) My dog...in a manskirt...*die*

1-2-09 - Old Enough to Know Better?

This session's question:


How old are you?


(Rose) Hey, I can't answer that! My age is a closely guarded secret!

(Sonia) Aren't you a little young to be worried about that? O___o

(Kai) I know the reason. She's actually an OLD WOMAN who's had a bunch of cosmetic surgery! And she failed in school a lot!

(Rose) I'm outta here if you're just gonna insult me! >.o; *bops Kai with guitar*

(Kai) @_@ Hey, don't take it so personal! I'm just sayin' that you look pretty good for forty!

(Rose) >O How dare you!

(Tremble) Kai, Kai, Kai. When will you ever learn to stop insulting the fair ones?

(Kai) Quiet, dog. I'm workin' here!

(Tremble) You should always treat a lady with the respect and adoration she deserves, you know.

(Kai) Yeah? Why?

(Tremble) Because it's painful if you don't.

(Kai) Oh...yeah. O_o

(Tremble) Now, if only we could find a lady around here...

(Sonia) HEY! >.o;

(Rose) AAAAGHGHGGHGHGH! *chase with guitar*

1-2-09 - The Con

This session's question:

To Everyone:
As you may, or may not, have heard, CM is going to have a CON!!! *happy dance* anyways, we're going to have a voice actor there and I was wondering if you guys had any questions you'd like to ask? I'm sure Mr. Mignogna would LOVE to get some questions from fictional characters XD (Also I'm an aspiring VA myself, so feel free to ask me anything too!)

I'd like to give my humble apologies to you Kai. You have a new fangirl as of now. Now that I look at it, I find your stupidity rather cute, so I'm sorry for dissin ya panda-chan ^^

And XOXOXOXOXOXOX to Tremble, future president Elect <3

Toodles for now,
Your wacky,hyper,Fangirl
Jessica ^^

(Kai) A con?

(Kuri) Aren't they supposed to be locked up in prison? Who is this con? Someone famous?

(Kai) I bet my hacker's guidebook it's that Mignogna guy! I got a question, Mignogna-man! What're you doing time for?

(Kuri) Maybe you shouldn't be so rude, Kai. O_o;;;

(Kai) Hey, he's behind bars, right? It's not like he can get me.

(Kuri) But...what if he's a member of the mob or something like that? O___o

(Kai) Aww, you're so ignorant, Kuri! There aren't any mobs anymore, that's just on TV!

*Kai is hit by a gang bus*


(Kai) Aww, you're so ignorant, Kuri! There aren't any mobs anymore, that's just on TV!

*a mobster anvil falls on Kai's head*


(Kai) Aww, you're so ignorant, Kuri! There aren't any mobs anymore, that's just on TV!

*a mafia group in high heels stomps Kai into the ground*


(Kai) @____@

(Kuri) Jessica says that she apologizes to you, Panda-chan. >v>;

(Kai) Medic...medic...

(Tremble) ...President elect, hmm...? *daydreaming* If I were president...

(Daydream Kai) Aww, you're so ignorant, Kuri! There aren't any mobs anymore, that's just on TV!

*Kai gets hit by the Air Force*

(Tremble) Aaaaah. |3

1-2-09 - The Wedding

This session's question:

Dear Game Plan! cast:

Have any of you ever been to a wedding? If so, what were/are your thoughts on your experience?


(Kai) Of course I went to a wedding. My wedding, of course.

(Sonia) Oh, that is SUCH a lie, Kai!

(Kai) Is not. =n= I'm talking about my wedding to...guess who!

(Sonia) We could never imagine. e_e

(Kai) THAT'S RIGHT! My beautiful queen, who's almost as tough as me...CHUN LI!

(Tremble) Ah, yes. I remember. Street Fighter wedding. Ryu and Ken were the best men. Mr. Honda ate all the burgers. Blanka fell in the pool and electrocuted Cammy.


(Tremble) What kind of booze did you put in it? O_o

(Kai) ...What booze?

(Tremble) ...

(Sonia) This is another of your tall tales, Kai. >.o

(Kai) Don't be jealous that you weren't invited. =n= You missed all the action! Bison stormed in and tried to steal my queen, but I showed him a thing or two with my fists of lightning! Punch! Smash! He took the bridesmaids hostage! I freed them with a Teleporting Hover Kick Special! Then I threw him in the pool and he got electrocuted too! And then...!

(Sonia) There's more of this stupid story? O____o

(Kai) ...Tremble popped out of the cake. Naked.

(Sonia) ...

(Tremble) ...Ah, well, yes...I had some of the punch too. x_x

(Sonia) I'm so not going to your wedding, Kai.

11-28-08 - Escargot?

This session's question:

From: Leah...
To: Kai

Ok, Kai, remember a long time ago I asked for advice for what color streaks I should put in my hair, for a girl with shoulder length hair that has brown-near-black hair...

I took your advice....
AND IT SUCKED!!!!!!!!!
Ok, to the question question...
You lost a fangirl.
OH!!! And another question Kai...
Do you have Italian in you? XDDDD

(Kai) W-what? I lost another...I mean, I lost A fangirl?! *sulks in corner*

(Tremble) *patpat* It's all right, Kai. She doesn't mean those horrible things. I know you're a tough...ah...young male or something.

(Kai) I never had a chick diss my advice before!

(Tremble) Sonia "disses" your advice all the time.

(Kai) Sonia isn't a chick! She's an ungirly...girl...freak thingie!

(Tremble) Why? O_o; She seems like a reasonably attractive, kind, spirited girl to me.

(Kai) Then YOU date her!

The spirit of Locke's sudden anger hangs strangely in the air...or maybe it's just sewer gas.

(Tremble) ...Ahem. Back to the question. Do you or do you not have Italian in you, Kai?

(Kai) Well...YEAH! Of course I do! All good romantics have Italian in them somewhere, right?!

(Tremble) I thought that was stereotypically the French.

(Kai) Yeah, but in Italy, they got spaghetti. And pizza. And they don't eat those gooey things in the swirly shells.

(Tremble) ...You're referring to...escargot? O_o

(Kai) ...What the heck's an escargo? Is that like racing or something?

(Tremble) =o= It is a snail, Kai. A snail ripped out of its shell, fried in butter and garlic, and stuffed back into its shell.

(Kai) You mean to tell me...

KURI FED ME SNAILS?! O______o *barf*

(Tremble) ...Ah, there's that Italian now. >.>;;;;

11-21-08 - KAI-MAAAAAN!

This session's question:

Dear all:

Please save this attached executable to your hard drive and run it. Thank you so much.

~ Teresa Miller

(Kuri, reading email) What's this? flowers.exe...? Aww, flowers! ^___^ *click*

Meanwhile, in a secret underground facility that strangely resembles a cardboard box buried in the side of a hill...

(suave gamer around town, Kai Mitchell) My anti-virus sense is tingling! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So he rushes to the scene of the crime in his Kaimobile (with optional Trembleboy sidecar)! With a theme vaguely similar to the old Batman theme, he enters the room dressed in virus-busting gear! NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA KAI-MAN!

(Kuri) What's wrong with my computer? ;___; Help me, Kai-Man!

(Kai-Man) NEVER FEAR! I WILL BRAVELY CHARGE INTO THE FRAY! (brandishing anti-virus software with kirakira and gleaming teeth!) Trembleboy! Watch my back! And get me a Snapple!

(Trembleboy) Yes, your highness. e_e

(Kai-Man) Now to do battle!

He...uh...bravely puts the CD into the drive. It shoots back out at him! *KIDNEYPOW!*


(Kuri) It must be a truly awful virus!

(Trembleboy) This must be a truly awful skit!

(Kai-Man) You must be a truly awful sidekick! GET THE RECOVERY CD!

(Trembleboy) With or without the Snapple, your highness? e_e

(Kai-Man) WITH!

So the recovery disc is getten! Er, gotten. Er, DISC x 1. And Kai-Man drinks the Snapple for strength! *KERSLURP!* And thrusts the disc into the drive with all his might!

(Kai-Man) What's this?! This virus was sent by the diabolical Soniagirl?!

(Trembleboy) Funny, I would have thought she would send it to you, Kai.

(Kai-Man) SHH! Don't give out my secret identity! Stupid flying dog...

(Kuri) ...Flying dog? o.o

(Kai-Man) Duh! He's had his pilot license for a year now! NOW! To discover the secret base of Soniagirl!

(a mysterious laugh from somewhere) AHAHAHA! Now I have you where I want you, Kai-Man and Trembleboy!


Soniagirl prances into the room, dressed in virus non-busting gear! (Soniagirl) Now you'll see my true power!

A cage drops on them from the ceiling! *DERSPLAT!*

(Soniagirl) ...Oops, forgot to take the bottom out of the cage.

A few minutes later, Kai-Man and Trembleboy are securely stowed inside the cage as any good villain should make sure they be! Er, they are. Er, they got caught.

(Soniagirl) Now, to show you your worst nightmare!

She's kidnapped Kai-Man's favorite laptop!

(Kai-Man) NOOOOOOOOO! Not the Chick!

(Trembleboy) You named your computer "the Chick?"


(Soniagirl) Now watch as I infect it with a virus that will cause it to show NOTHING BUT THE STATE OF THE NATION ADDRESS OVER AND OVER AGAIN...IN MANDARIN CHINESE!

(Kai-Man) Eh.



And then, Kai-Man woke up! It was all a dream.

(Kai-Man) Whew, my secret identity is safe.

And he drank a Snapple and went back to sleep. The end.


11-14-08 - The Date: Part 2

This session's question:

From MichikoThePirateNinja:

Yes, I am a Girl, Kai. Not a Japenese non-chick. A girl. Nor a chick. I don't see how your gonna take over the world with your deduction skills. -_- And to think I wanted to help with that... Ok I still do but whatever.

1:We still on for Street Fighter? :3
2:Do you like helping make the sim video game? Or do you just help to help? (If you even do anything like Sonia says.)

(Kai) All insults about my deductive ability aside, give me your phone number and I'm there, baby. ;)

(Tremble) *I wonder if he realizes he probably won't find her house with a phone number...*

(Kai) So I got doubters. People who're thinking "Kai must be doing something pretty awesome behind the scenes, but he doesn't talk about it much. He's probably the silent brains behind the outfit."

(Sonia) I don't think "silent" OR "brains" applies here.

(Kai) SHUDDUP. >( I got something to prove here. I gotta prove that I'm the man in this outfit. The man with the plan. The man with the program. Cuz without me, this whole project wouldn't be nothin' but a bunch of funny-lookin' girly models standing around doing nothing. Wearing lace and sipping tea and asking what time it is in Australia!

(Sonia) ...Australia.


(Sonia) ...Uh...there's something bent here, all right. That silent brain of yours. >.>

(Kai) DX


Sometimes,Tremble,I think I respect you more than I do Kai.I wish you were my dog.
My dog just likes to rip off the the kitchen floor.

1:Where did you learn to talk? Is it magic?!
2:Even though you sometimes insult him,do you really love Kai as your master?

(Tremble) Why thank you, Miss Michiko. You'll be happy to know that I haven't ripped any tiles from the kitchen floor.

...Well, at least, not lately. <.< >.> I am still a dog, after all. I do still have an...ah...affection for the floor mats in the car. It's a vice.

In regard to my ability to talk, the answer is simple. I acquired the magical Rosetta Stone. In doing so, I learned the ability to speak 31 languages. And I come with a demo CD now.

As far as Kai is concerned...well, in every family there is a bumbling, arrogant, foolish, moronic character that we can't help but love. I consider him my personal test from God. Why God felt I needed to be tested so harshly, I'm not certain.

10-31-08 - The Cafe

This session's question:

To everyone;

Okay, you are forced by Ink to work at a cute little cafe to work off your depts. You have to wear cute little uniforms too! How do you feel?


(Sonia) ...You've never had a job, Kuri. O_o You're rich, remember?

(Kuri) Oh oh! Can we wear outfits like the girls in Tokyo Mew Mew? PLEEEEEEASE?! I can get a seamstress out here in less than half an...

(Kai) How about NO.

(Kuri) Oh Kai! ;__; But the uniforms are adorable! They've got lace and ribbons and hearts and stuff...!

(Kai) What, do I look like your grandma's dressing table? I don't do LACE and RIBBONS and HEARTS AND STUFF!

(Locke is quickly fading into the background by choice. >.>)

(Elizabeth) I think it would suit him perfectly. He'd look like a circus clown. Oh wait, too late.

(Kuri) We'll put him in red! That would be perfect! I'll put him in charge of petit fours and biscuits shaped like Tremble!


(Tremble) The things I suffer as a mascot.

(Kuri) Sonia, you'll serve tea, okay? And Elizabeth, you can be the bouncer!

(Elizabeth) �� We need a bouncer?

(Sonia) Well, tea is okay, I guess. o.o

(Kuri) And Rose can play the background music! But I'll have to hide her guitar and get her a violin or something pleasant...

(Kai) ...Rose, huh? >.> She gotta wear some skirty...maid...outfit...

...Hmm. >v>


(Kai) >v> Oh Rooooose~

(Rose) *hyperzoom~* Yes? :3

(Kai) We got a gig for you to play. Comes with a uniform and everything!

(Rose) Really? Will it go with my barbed wire necklace?

(Kai) ...>v> Sure!

(Locke) *I can't believe they're doing this...wait, yes I can.*

(Kuri) Best job EVER. X3

10-24-08 - Fantasy Game

This session's question:

This is for everyone!!!

What would you be if you were decidedly put into a fantasy video game and why?

RPG and Fantasy Gamer Emily~!

(Sonia) I'd be the pretty heroine who discovers a mysterious power that lets me save the world! ^o^ And I'd wear cool armor!

(Kai) Throwing a jump rope at the villain don't count, Sonia.

(Sonia) A JUMP ROPE?

(Kai) Yeah. It looks stupid even if you have a HANDFUL of jump ropes.

(Kuri) Well, it might tangle their feet up. ^^;;;

(Kai) ...Uh huh. "The villain is currently untying knots. Attack?"

(Sonia) Hey, have YOU ever tried attacking while you're untying knots?

(Rose) I wanna be a Black Mage! *guitar~*

(Kai) No one's gonna get that joke, stoopit!

(Kuri) I'll be the legendary princess waiting for a hero to save me. ^^ Hey Locke! You should be the hero.

(Locke) Huh? Me? O_o

(Kai) HEY! He ain't the heroic type! Everyone knows that the hero character should be loud and arrogant at first but mature through trial and tragedy into an unlikely but true hero by the end!

(Kuri) Heroes should be pretty. ^__^

(Locke) Hey, I'm not pretty. >///>

(Sonia) Pretty boy...pfff....X3;

(Locke) ...

(Kai) Yeah Locke. Pretty boy. XD; Look at him, dressed in his pretty lacy pretty boy coat with his knickers and those weird shoes with the pretty boy buckle on top! And a wig like them people in the history book wears! Woo, the forces of fictional evil tremble at the might of...


(Elizabeth, carrying a big stick) I'd be the villain. Any questions?

(Locke) ...I...uh...I'm switching to her side. >.>;;;;;

10-17-08 - The Question

This session's question:

Dear Kai,

Ummm, what's a good question to ask you?


(Kai) Well now! There are a lot of questions you could ask. In fact, I'm gonna send you a complimentary copy of my new book: "10,000 Things You Wanted to Ask Kai" based on real questions I've received just so you're never stuck in this situation again. Let's turn to page 131. Read with me, kids. Soak up the awesome.

Question 2374: Have you ever danced with a chicken on your head?

Question 2375: Is lederhosen actually manly?

Question 2376: Is it true that you're thinking of running for the presidency, and if so, what party?

Question 2377: Do you like cookies?

Question 2378: If I bring you cookies, will you date me?

Question 2379: If I bring you cookies, will you marry me?

Question 2380: Marry me and make me your queen!

(Kai) ...Hey, that's not a question. O_o How'd that get in here?

Question 2381: Marry me and make me queen of the world!

(Kai) Okay, this is getting freaky. Who edited this thing? *flips through pages* Eheh. Page 180.

Question 3670: Do you like fanfiction?

Question 3671: Do you like it when people pair weird characters together romantically?

Question 3672: Can I write a romance fic about you and me?

Question 3673: Can I write a slashfic with you and...

(Kai) WHAT THE HECK?! WHO ADDED THIS?! The only slashing goin' on around here is gonna be when I find the person who did this!

(Ink) Uh...Kai? No one edited the book. These are real things that fangirls ask.

(Kai) ...Uh...(flips to page 1)

Question 15: Do you hide under your bed with a teddy bear when you're scared?

(Kai) No, but I'm gettin' there. o.o;;;;;

10-10-08 - The Date

This session's question:

Hey Kai,did you know they have a Street Fighter Movie?You,me, and Tremble should watch it!


(Kai) Quick question.

(Tremble) Yes?

(Kai) Is Michiko a Japanese chick name or a Japanese non-chick name?

(Tremble) Are you referring to a normal woman or a man? >.> And what difference does it make?

(Kai) Because, OBVIOUSLY, if Michiko is a dude, I'm gonna have to put him in his place before we watch a movie like that! Cuz, you know, fighting movies always bring out the warrior in us manly men!

(Tremble) I understand there are a lot of pretty fighting girls in that movie.

(Kai) Well, duh. Chun Li is gonna be my queen someday.

(Tremble) So if Michiko IS a girl, and you're too busy beating the TV to death with your lusty eyeballs, she'll be insulted and won't ever want to date you again.

(Kai) ...Date?

(Tremble) To put it in your terminology: "Duh."

(Kai) Where do you get off saying this is a date, dog?

(Tremble) Well isn't it obvious? What would you call it when a young man and a pirate ninja lady watch a movie together? By themselves?

(Kai) So what part are you playing in all this, dog?

(Tremble) I'm the chaperone, of course.

(Kai) CHAPERONE?! A DOG for a chaperone?

(Tremble) One moment please. *cellphone~* Yes, Mrs. Mitchell? You're reading this week's AACF, aren't you?....Ah, good. You know what to do, then?...All right, I'll tell him. *click*

(Kai) Where did you get that cellphone? And how did you just dial it without using the keypad? >.o

(Tremble) Your mother just changed your curfew from 10 to 3:30.

(Kai) To 3:30 in the morning? O__o

(Tremble) In the afternoon.


10-3-08 - Catrina

This session's question:

Asher family cat... Mitchell family dog,

Do you guys ever get together and hang out behind your respective owners' backs? Do you have any secret commentary on the ongoing angst and drama that seems to happen around your homes? And by the way... what IS your name, cat?


(Tremble) Ah, the cat. There's a perfectly good reason that I don't associate with that feline furbag. She's the producer of this catastrophe. Every bit of "angst" and "drama" is craftily scripted by that whisker-wearing, tuna-gulping, manipulative little...

(Cat) What were you saying?

(Tremble) Oh...hello there, cat.

(Cat) That's Miss Catrina to you, dogface.

(Tremble) ...

(Catrina) Be nice or I'll have Ink write you out of the script.

(Tremble) Grrr...=n=

(Catrina) I can see it now. The wide open highway. The devoted dog chasing the rubber ball into traffic...

(Tremble) This is NOT that kind of story, Catrina!

(Cat, writing) ...and the ball...is thrown by LOCKE! To get revenge for Kai taking off with Sonia! Tremble is hit by the...

(Tremble) STOP IT! >.<;

(Catrina) Locke becomes a serial killer! He ties Kuri and Rose together and throws them in a river! But they're saved by the bouyancy of Kuri's skirt...except they flip upside down and drown!

(Tremble) That is SO WRONG!

(Catrina) And Elizabeth...is left in the polar wastelands, with only a teddy bear and a set of keys to cars she doesn't own! Now THAT'S good drama! And then she's...hit by a flying iceberg!

(Tremble) A...flying iceberg. Pray tell, cat. How does an iceberg fly?

(Catrina) With wings, stupid dog.

(Tremble) ...You know, if you kill them off, the show is over. No more comedy. No more lovey-dovey, awkward attempts on Locke's part to socialize. No more fangirls squealing over each and every detail.

...No more merchandise to sell.

(Catrina) ...

...Oh yeah. o.o Right. I had no idea how we were gonna get wings on the iceberg anyway.

9-19-08 - JUMP!

This session's question:

To Locke and Kai (and anyone else who wants to answer):

Do you guys even mind that you are outnumbered and surrounded by girls? I mean, there are four girls and two of you (not including Tremble...sorry Kai, but, he's not human). How do you stand it?


(Kai) Oooh, that's easy. Locke blushes like an idiot and is rendered incapable of doing anything against them.

(Locke) ...Scuse me?

(Kai) On the other hand, I have all the women around me wrapped around my little finger. If I say jump, they ask "how high" and all that.

(a knife flies through the air and hits the wall by Kai)

(Elizabeth) KAI! JUMP!

(Kai) 0_0 How high?

(Elizabeth) Mwahaha. Abject fear. My most powerful weapon. X3;

9-5-08 - Superheroes

This session's question:

Dear Kai and Tremble:


-Distant Wonderer

(Kai) The heck...?

(Tremble) It seems the author of the question is thinking of a race. o.o

(Kai) A RACE? BRING IT ON! I can win any race! >O

(Tremble) Nonsense. You couldn't win a horse race. Or the rat race. You couldn't even win the human race.

(Kai) WHAT?! Of course I could win the human race! SHOW ME THE WAY! >O

(Tremble) =o=\ The human race as a species, Kai. I was joking.

(Kai) ...So it's a species race? I'LL STILL TAKE EM ON! SHOW ME THE...

(Tremble) KAI. FOCUS.

(Kai) I AM WINNAR! >O! Is this like Star Trek or something, with all those different alien species who look like humans but have weird ears and wrinkles stuck to their heads? Weird ears freak me out.

(Tremble) ...No, Kai. It's nothing like that. ...Wait a moment. What about MY ears?

(Kai) There's nothin' freaky about your ears, dog man! You're a normal, everyday chihuahua who happens to be really tough and cool and much better than a normal chihuahua!

(Tremble) ...And I can talk.

(Kai) Hey, now THAT'S a recent development! ...

...Hey, why IS it you can talk? O__o

(Tremble) Ink decided it would be funny if I were to be brainy and yet charming, yet the sidekick of a dimwit. Her words, not mine.

(Ink) O___O Hey, I didn't say that!

(Kai) Speaking of races. Time me while I beat her up. >O *run*


8-29-08 - Superheroes

Okay...I admit it. I botched this one. The question asked for Elizabeth and Rose...somehow I read it as Kuri and Rose and wrote it the wrong way. But rewriting it with Elizabeth would make it less funny, so I'm gonna roll with this. I blame lack of sleep, too much sugar, and too many video games. Enjoy!

This session's question:

Dear Elizabeth & Rose,

You've both been pretty quiet compared to the others in this ask-a-character section. There has to be a reason for this ... I know! You're both really superheroes and you're too busy saving the world to comment much here! Admit it!


(Kuri) ...

(Rose) Someone's blabbed something. We have a breach of security!

(Kuri) ...That's right! And that would be ME!

(Rose) D: Don't tell me! You're my evil arch-nemesis, Evil-chan, trying to get the drop on me in a moment of corny, poorly written dialogue!

(Kuri) YES! *transforms in a sparkly burst with happy jpop background music into...DUN DUN DUN!* I am Mahou Shoujo Girl Evil-chan! NOW SUFFER!

(Rose) NOOOOO! Not before I'm given the opportunity to hear your evil plan, transform and exploit your weakness!

(Kuri) ...You're joking, right? O_o

(Rose) No! Now that you're off-guard, I will transform! *transforms to the opening theme from Trigun* I am...THE AXE GRINDER, DEFENDER OF JUSTICE! *smash guitar*


(Rose) My awesome power is being diminished by the force of bad translation and old video game references! AAAAAGH!

(Kuri) Mwahaha! TAKE THAT! Now I'm off to destroy a city or two! Ta ta!

(Rose) Noooo! Sidekick, come to my aid!

*Tremble is shoved out on the scene*

(Tremble) What?! How demeaning! You're saying because I am an animal, I should be her "sidekick?" What kind of stupid logic is that?!

(Sonia) Psst! Shut up and transform into Battle Dog form!

(Tremble) Oh, very well. >( (transforms to the music of "Can You Feel The Love Tonight")



(Rose) ...Dude, you got ripped off.

(Kuri) ...Okay, I give up if you're bringing Elton John into this. >.>;;;;

8-22-08 - The Diversion

This session's question:

Sonia, did you know someone in your gang likes you?? Can you guess? (hehehee you never would) so I'll tell you--his name is--

*duct tape noises* MFMMMMF! o.o

-Manga Star

(Ink) <.< >.> No one heard that.

(Sonia) Huh? O_o What's this all about?

(Ink) Nothing to see here. Move along.

(Sonia) HEY! There was a spoiler here!



(Sonia) She's hiding the spoiler! Not fair! ;o;

(Kai) C'mon, show us! Show us or we'll rebel!

(Ink) If you'll get lost, I'll make sure there's a side story about your adventures in Japan!


Later, in a little known 4-koma...

(Sonia) HEY! This isn't Japan! These are just cardboard cutouts of a geisha, a samurai, the Tokyo tower, Pikachu and Vic Mignogna!


(Sonia) WHY, INK? WHYYYYYY?! ;o;

8-15-08 - Pie

This session's question:


If you and your friends were kinds of pie, what kinds of pie would you be?


(Kai) Pie. Ah, wonderful pie. Sweet pastry courier of fruit and pudding and...


(Kai) *smack smack* Okay, okay! No more chewing it over, I've cooked up a quick list.

SONIA: What else would you call a person who's part annoying girl, part lousy gamer, part terrible writer and part awful boss? That's right, a part pie. I mean...a pot pie.
LOCKE: Coconut pecan. Cuz sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
TREMBLE: Is there such a thing as best buddy pie? No? Good, cuz that would be gross. But what's the all-time best buddy food? That's right, pizza pie.
ROSE: Sweet. Tart. Always on key. Key lime, that is.
KURI: Chocolate cherry pudding pie with whipped cream. It just SOUNDS girly. Throw some pocky and lace on it or something. Yuck.
ELIZABETH: Blood pie. This one explains itself, I think. Eww.

And finally:

ME: I would be...pie squared. Because I'm just that awesome.

(Sonia) We've stooped to math humor. =_=

(Elizabeth) He's feeding off the patience of his fans. Yes, we're dishing out great humor every Friday so be sure to visit next week for another serving of...wait a minute. WHO'S WRITING THIS?!

(Ink) ...I blame Locke.

(Locke) O_O;

8-08-08 - Virtual Island

This session's question:

To whoever can spend up to 1,500 dollars

I have this assignment at school where I am going to a virtual island and i have to pack stuff for when I go. Here are the things that I have to take.

Personal Items
Entertainment items (games magazines, things like that)
Food will already be provided....
Things for the water...

things like that.

Kinda like going to summer camp :P

Computer equipment will be provided already...

I will be "gone" for 7 months...So make it good!!!


(Kai) I don't get it.

(Sonia) She's trying to get us to do her homework for her, dummy. >.>;

(Elizabeth) Food and computer provided? >.>; What kind of survival test is this?

(Sonia) =_= No one said it was a survival test. This isn't reality TV. It's a homework assignment.


(Elizabeth) I'll get the guns! :D

(Sonia) I don't think it's like...

(Locke) I'll bring the marshmallows.

(Sonia) Marshmallows? >.o

(Locke) You can't have a campfire without marshmallows. She didn't say if fires were provided.

(Kai) Fires are NOT provided! BYOF! Wahoo! *blowtorch*

(Sonia) This is SO not helping, Kai.

(Kai) Do they provide matches? Butane torches? Gasoline?


(Elizabeth) ...Why not? o.o She didn't say what kind of vacation it was. Just that it's an island.

(Kuri) But the fires will mess up my hair. o.o

(general silence)

(Rose) I can use my guitar to hunt for food.

(Sonia) How's that? >.o I don't think island animals are lulled into submission by a wailing electric guitar!

(Rose) ...Actually, I was just gonna hit em with it. Y'know. o.o

(more silence)

(Sonia) So we have guns, marshmallows, matches, butane torches, gasoline, and an electric guitar. Gee, d'ya s'pose they'll let you on a plane with all that? >.>

(Kuri) A plane? We'd take my personal yacht to the island. ^___^

(Sonia) I don't think Angelgate has a personal yacht. Most NORMAL people don't.

(Kuri) Um...how about a sailboat? A speedboat? A rowboat? o.o

(Sonia) I'm gonna try my best to lose you all at sea someday.

8-01-08 - Dial-up

This session's question:

Dear Kai:

Help! For some insane reason my Internet has slowed to a dead crawl! But with your "mad haxxor skillz", I'm sure you can tell me how to fix it. Hope you can!

~ DevastatedByDialUp

Okay, Devastated. This has never, ever happened to me, because computers are influenced by my "mad hax0r" aura, but let's take a look at the situation here. The first thing you want to do is make sure the following are NOT true. Check em off with me as we go.

1. I have NOT chewed any holes in the wiring leading to or from my computer, nor have I allowed my pets to do so.
2. I do NOT have any foreign objects, namely, screws, screwdrivers, hammers, roaches or biscuits shoved into the CD drive, floppy drive, USB ports, keyboard or that little green light on the front.
3. I have NOT recently opened an email from the "President of Nigeria," "Britney Spears," some Chinese guy you don't know, or "me."
4. I did NOT try to hook my modem to my computer with bubble gum.
5. I do NOT see smoke trailing up from my modem.
6. I did NOT try to oil the modem to make it run better.
7. I did NOT try to use a modem WITHOUT a computer.

And finally:

8. I did NOT try to use my grandma's old-fashioned phone to get on the internet. Especially if she didn't give me permission.

Good on all that? Okay. Next, you have to assert your dominance over the machine. Tell it who's boss! Kick it around a little! If that doesn't work, call tech support. And if that doesn't work, buy a new computer. Who says I'm not good at this? :D

7-26-08 - Bad Hair Day

This session's question:

For Kai-

I was wondering...since you have all thos awesome streaks in your hair, what streak color do you recommend for a girl who has shoulder length hair and it is very dark brown (almost black!)???

PS. ( I am part of you fangirlz club!!! HAHAHA!!!)


(Kai) Ah, my fangirls. They're the best. The You fangirlz club is especially the best.

First of all, are you a hot chick or...

(Tremble) KAI! For the last time, ladies are not chicks! Chicks are baby chickens!

(Kai) I thought those were Peeps.

(Tremble) PEEPS ARE A MARSHMALLOW CONFECTION. And stop defacing brand names before Ink has a lawsuit on her hands!

(Kai) ...Oh, I so had an inspiration. This non-chicken girl has dark brown hair, right?

(Tremble) I...suppose so, yes.

(Kai) She should dye her bangs blonde and style them like giant Peeps.

(Tremble) ...This is advice, Kai?

(Kai) Mmm, Peep Head. |3 The girl of my dreams has Peep hair~

6-27-08 - Do You Have a Dead Girl in Your Basement?

This session's question:

Dear Locke,

Do you bear any relation to the Locke Cole of Final Fantasy VI fame? If not, was the casting off of your birth name merely to prevent rabid fan girls from chasing your silver-haired bishounen person down the street in some kind of terrible misunderstanding? And finally, are there any significant other dead/comatosed girls being preserved in your basement that perhaps Sonia should know about?

With deep concern,


(Locke) ...

...Ink, what did you do.

(Ink) It was a coincidence, I swear!

(Locke) It's kind of hard to believe it's a coincidence that I used to have the same name as a video game character. And what's this Final Fantasy?

(Ink) ...You know. Final Fantasy. Chocobos and Phoenix Downs and all that.

(Locke) ...Never heard of it. Where I come from, we only have fictional video games.

(Ink) ...Uh...makes sense...

(Locke) Now what was that lie you were telling me, again? >.>;;;

(Ink) It's the truth, I'm telling you. *stupid rebellious characters...*

(Locke) Explain.

(Ink) Okay, okay. This is how it happened. When I first started Game Plan as Project LLW waaaay back in the day, you had a different name. Remember?

(Locke) No, that was some other guy. He was possessed. And he wasn't as nice as me. And he wasn't a fine artist, he was a metalsmith.

(Ink) ...Oh, you're a troublemaker.

(Locke) Continue. ^^

(Ink) So I decided you needed a new name. I think I ended up working on the family name first, so I decided, because they were the "good" family that they needed a "pure" sounding name, and that the "bad" family needed a dark sounding name. So I was looking through a baby-naming website and I came across the name "Asher" which sounded good. Then I needed the "dark" name, so the logical progression went something like this : dark > black (Black was also a name I considered, but Locke Black sounded terrible) > black as coal > Cole. So I had that part down. And the "Locke" part is obvious symbolism, the way you locked yourself away from others. It's also legacy from the metalsmith thing.

(Locke) Ooooh. So it's a really good thing that I was adopted, huh? >.>;

(Ink) Something like that. I had forgotten that the characters in FF6 even HAD last names. You can imagine my surprise when I finished the game for the first time recently and saw "Locke Cole" in the credits. O___o Oh well. Too late to change it now.

(Locke) And the silver hair?

(Ink) Another coincidence. I told you, you used to be someone else. A metalsmith SHOULD have silver hair. It's that symbolism again.

(Locke) Symbolism is overrated. *wahaha evil*

(Ink) Don't you give me problems, boy. I'll turn you over to the Locke x Kai yaoi fangirls.

(Locke) O____o Noooo no no! I'll be good! Promise! The fangirls who like me straight are bad enough! They yell at my windows at night and leave the mailbox stuffed full of flowers and candy and bombs!

(Ink) You ever knocked one out and stuffed her in your basement?

(Locke) ...That...is none of your business.

(Ink) Is her name Rachel? :D

(Locke) ...This q&a is officially over! >:( *walkaway~*

6-20-08 - Damsels in Distress

This session's question:

Dear Locke and Kai:

Pop quiz time. There's a damsel in distress, and you two are the only ones around to rescue her. How would you go about this? What tools would you use? Would you work together or independently? And would she appreciate being rescued? I expect the answer on my desk in the morning.

~ ReluctantHeroWannabe


(Kai) Aww...I can't answer a question like this. Not honestly. First of all, he left out critical information like whether or not the damsel is a chick!

(Tremble) I thought we had this discussion, Kai. Chicks are baby chickens.

(Kai) She might be a chicken! You don't know!


(Kai) Beaks. o.o (shudder)

(Locke) Can we get back on topic now? Uh...so she's...trapped in some ancient castle or something, right? That always happens to damsels. Who's the villain?

(Kai) Must be Bowser. Or Sephiroth. Or Master Chief.

(Locke) That doesn't even make sense!

(Kai) Okay, okay, no Bowser. First, I'd go find the biggest, baddest sword of em all. And I've got -requirements- for this sword. First of all, it would have cool powers to do things like block huge attacks! And a bottle opener in the pommel. Oh yeah. Save the princess and then it's Miller time.

(Ink) Locke? How about you?

(Locke) Uh...I...guess I would pack practical things like a sword, rope, a grappling iron, some medical stuff, maybe a candle and matches and...bombs? :D

(Kai) It's not a freakin' Zelda game!

(Locke) Why not? o.o

(Kai) Nobody likes those games! It's got a girly-man for a hero! Who's gonna buy THAT?!

(Locke) Oh yeah, we got a question from someone for you about that, Kai.

(Kai) Whuzzat? o.o

This question is for Kai.

When you're wearing the Santa outfit you look kind of like Link. Have you ever thought of cosplaying as Link? I hear he's a favorite among girl gamers.


(Kai) Cosplaying LINK? HE should be cosplaying ME! I mean, I'm only about three thousand times cooler than he is!

(Locke) But you could save the princess.

(Rose) I'll be your princess~ <3

(Kai) ...

...Okay. Yeah...yeah, I can see it. Zelda...with an axe. Right.

(Rose) Hey, Zelda is musical! She's a talented woman! And so am I!

(Locke) You guys are really going too far with this. ^^:; And you didn't answer the question, Kai.

(Kai) Which one?

(Locke) The first one.

(Kai) Oh yeah...working together. With you? >v> That's a laugh!

(Locke) Because you'd be the sidekick. :3 The sidekick with the bottle opener, getting drunk and beaten up by the villain's lackeys! Haha!

(Kai) Why you...YOU'D be the sidekick!

(Locke) Kai, dressed up as Link. With a beer-opening Master Sword, a princess with an electric guitar, and Ganon chasing him out of Hyrule! Ahahaha!

(Kai) ...You suck, you know that, Locke?

5-30-08 - Wisdom of the Old Guys

I didn't have time to finish this question properly today, so it's been slightly edited. Sorry Sam! ^^; I'll try to get to the rest another time. ~Ink

This session's question:

I want to ask Tremble:

Tremble do you ever get tired of Kai and Sonia fighting over you? P.S. Me and my Chihuahua, Chica, LOVE YOU!!!


(with the aid of translation)

My good Sam:

When dealing with individuals from the species moronus idiotica, it helps to be patient. Very very patient. Even if the subjects in question harness you to a tiny chariot and race you and the cat around the living room, yelling "BEN-HUR IS REBORN!". Or dress you in a leather jacket and demand that you pretend to be a "battle dog." So, in effect, when they argue over whether or not I should be wearing a frilly collar with a bell or rusty chains, they're best ignored. And when I grow tired of them...and I do grow very tired of them at times...I meditate and fall back on the words of my old yoga instructor, Drun-ken Baka. "Let your mind be carefree as the wind. Let your spirit soar, but avoid the jet engines. Let your heart be thankful, for tomorrow the IRS may be on your doorstep and ask where those two thousand dollars went." He was a good man. I wonder if he ever got out of jail.

So there you have it. May the words of the man in the hoosegow prove as inspiring to you as they did to me. Oh yes, and here's a virtual bouquet of flowers for my beloved fellow chihuahua Chica.


5-23-08 - Girly Boys

This session's question:

Dear Locke and Kuri:

Since you are both artists, have either of you ever considered making your own manga? If so, what would it be about?

~ Russell

Aww, our own manga! Wouldn't it be cute, Locke? I could draw the cute heroine and all her beautiful outfits, and you could draw the villains and battle scenes!

...I'd rather draw something with mecha and guns. >.>;;;; I don't want to draw girly manga, with girls in short lacy skirts dancing around with ribbons and frills, defeating the enemy with the power of love.

Aww, what's wrong with that? ;___;

Nothing, other than the fact that it's girly. >.>;;

You'd like it if you tried it. C'mon, Locke! Try it!

O__o; Oh come on, Kuri. I told you. It's full of frills and ribbons and girly emo boys who all need haircuts.

...Uh...you do realize you kind of fit those qualifications, right?

...I'm not girly OR emo!

Teeheehee...bishie~ bishie~ bishie needs a haircuuuut~


Ink: So the answer is, they couldn't agree on anything long enough to start a project! Has anyone noticed that my characters aren't very good at answering questions? :D

5-9-08 - The Old Skool

This session's question:

Dear Mrs. Greenwood:

I see that like myself, you're a big fan of the original classic video games -- namely, those from the Atari 2600! :3 But what do you think should be done about modern video games to make them more like those good old classics?


All hail the sprite! Marvel at the 8-bit! Pixels where art thou?


Who needs all these fancy graphics and polygons and cutscenes and crap? Back in my day, we were lucky if we had a supporting story! And now they have games with movies built in? BAH! Kids needs to keep their gaming and their movie-watching separate! Gives em a reason to get up and shut off the console! In the glory days of gaming, our games didn't NEED ratings! If that sprite was naked, heck, you'd never know it! And what's with those terrible camera angles...you can't see where you're going! And our controllers only had four buttons! Or a joystick! C'mon, what's with thousands of buttons on a controller anyway? Quantity over quality? And controllers you can MOVE? If I wanted to swing my controller like a baseball bat, I'd go play baseball! Darn non-realistic games!

ALL RIGHT. Who's been playing with the Wii without using the wrist strap again? I found this controller on the lawn!

<.<;; >.>;; Not me! Goodbye! (runaway~)

5-2-08 - What Girls Want...Maybe?

This session's question:

Dear Locke's dad,

There's this girl at my school, and yeah. I um... like her... and... um... Help! Do you have any advice?

~Frank N. Stine

Well hello there, Frank! So you've got a girl ya like...you came to the right place, my boy!

To understand how to get a girl's attention best, we need to analyze what gets their attention in the first place. Everyone knows that girls love the following:

1. Small, cute animals
2. Lace and ribbons
3. Mysterious boys
4. Chocolate
5. Shopping
6. Romance

We'll strike out that last point since that's the end goal. ;)

So, we need a way to incorporate the items in our list into a fantastic Girl Magnet. Let's start with the "mysterious boy." You can handle being mysterious, right? If you don't have any ideas for your tragic/mysterious/girl-attracting origins, yank one shamelessly from some of your sister's girly manga. (Don't get caught reading it. This is critical) Then, if your love-to-be recognizes your sob story, you can say "well, I must have inspired that manga." Clever, right? :D Oh yeah, and let your hair grow out a little, if you haven't already. Girls seem to love that for some reason.

To complete your mysterious look, let's return to the first point of the outline, the "small cute animal" part. If you managed to choke down the sugary-sweet goodness of the girly manga, you probably know by now that girls love guys in cat ears. This is a complete mystery to me. But, as we all know, more is better. Go for the full-body costume, even the collar with a bell. Finish it off with the second point on our list, lace and ribbons. Glue some lace on the costume. Just make sure it's symmetrical; lack of symmetry has the potential to enrage the target. Tie a big bow to the collar, the bigger the better. Just make sure you can see where you're going, although if you can't, you may be able to take advantage of the "wounded animal" routine. Use this sparingly.

The last two items on our list are a little trickier. Anyone can give a girl chocolates as a proclamation that he likes her, but most guys don't give their girl a solid chocolate sculpture in his likeness! Think about it. Every time she enjoys chocolate thereafter, she'll think of you! Whether this is with affection or contempt is up to you, my boy.

On the day you spring all this to her, offer to take her shopping for new shoes. If you're lucky, she'll say "Aww, how cute!" and go with you! There's about a 3% chance she'll break into hysterical laughter, but if this occurs, there's still a 65% chance she'll go with you if you hit her with the mysterious origin story and offer her the chocolate. This plan is a little trickier than most video games, but with appropriate leveling, you should be able to add her heart to your inventory get her attention!

Hey, it worked on my wife.

4-25-08 - The Mitchell Family is Insane

This session's questions:

If you thought long and hard about it, what would you be doing had you never met Sonia? Playing videogames? Or doing something else?

Awwwwwww what a cute little puppy you are�do you REALLY seek world domination? How will you achieve that goal when you�re just a dog? Is Kai going to help? �if so�can I help too?

Where on earth did you get your amazing guitar? How long have you been playing for? (I play guitar so I just HAD to ask =^+^=)

What gave you the idea to make a videogame of your own? Was it just because you loved videogames so much? Did you decide upon the idea and then rope the others into helping, or did you all come up with it?

Are you ever scared of Kai?


If you thought long and hard about it, what would you be doing had you never met Sonia? Playing videogames? Or doing something else?

You know, now that you mention it, I most likely would have aspired to true greatness if Sonia hadn't been around to drag me down. By now, I would have been president and Tremble would be my vice president! But you know how it is with a jealous woman, trying to keep you beat down. But hey, since we're talking about my inevitable run for office, polls indicate that 100% of the female vote would belong to me, regardless of the issues. Of course, I'm good on ALL the issues. Border security, the war, the worldwide shortages of cheese, I got it all covered. And there would be a State of the Nation address every night! Hey, I'd be as good a president as anyone else, and more handsome too!

Awwwwwww what a cute little puppy you are�do you REALLY seek world domination? How will you achieve that goal when you�re just a dog? Is Kai going to help? �if so�can I help too?

My good fan - your admiration, adoration, and confidence in my megalomania are noted. However, we cannot be entirely certain that we will execute our plans of world domination. Simply put...according to my research team, and in contrast to Kai's above stated opinion, we ARE too cute. We could never be considered truly villainous...at best, anti-heroes! What is this world coming to? We have yet to devise a plan to take advantage of this angle because my owner refuses to admit that we are anything other than tough specimens. However, when our plans come to fruition, you are certainly welcome to join in the scheme. The more the merrier...as long as you are willing to conform to our iron will, that is.

Darn right! We need evil chicks in our new world order!

PLEASE do not refer to the fairer ones as "chicks," Kai. Chicks have beaks and feathers.

...o.o She doesn't have beaks and feathers, right?


Where on earth did you get your amazing guitar? How long have you been playing for? (I play guitar so I just HAD to ask =^+^=)

Hey, I got another question! O_O

I've been playing guitar since I was about eight, I guess. My parents gave me an old second-hand guitar that someone gave them. I picked up music pretty quickly; turned out I had a knack for it. So I saved up my money and a few years later, I bought this guitar. ^v^ It's my most prized possession, y'know? I worked hard to get the money for it, I'm proud of it and I take good care of it. Music is my life!

Ink's note: Rose's guitar is based (vaguely? lol) on this one. It should be noted that I personally know very little about guitars so blame any inconsistencies on that. :3

What gave you the idea to make a videogame of your own? Was it just because you loved videogames so much? Did you decide upon the idea and then rope the others into helping, or did you all come up with it?

It's very much because I love video games so much and I wanted to give back according to my abilities. ^^ And I love sci-fi and stuff. Kuri and I actually developed the idea, and the others embellished when they came on board. Except for Kai. He didn't do very much. ;)


What'd you contribute?


And there you have it! :D

Are you ever scared of Kai?

A room full of guns and knives ensure that you're never scared of anybody. But Kai is probably scared of me. :3

Are you JOKING? Even back in the day, I wasn't scared of you!

Okay, could you repeat that again to Mr. Colt? Or maybe Mr. Glock? *click~*

Ah...uh...I gotta go...polish...Tremble! Later!

(Haha, he thinks these toy guns are real.)

4-09-08 - Kai rulz t3h w0rld. Again

This session's question:

Hey Kai,when and where did you meet Sonia? And what's your favorite video game?

And by the way you really should try taking over the world!


Well, let's see. It all started a few years ago, back when I was the street-fighting champion of, well, the whole darn country, actually. During my biggest and most ferocious match to date, all the girls of Freeport and the surrounding areas turned out to watch, since girls are naturally attracted to hot guys in power brawls. Well, one hot guy, anyway. I was working on their innate love for bishounen, and soon I had gathered the female fandom into a one-sided audience. The boys naturally sided with the underdog in their jealousy.

I came out into the street, ripped off my shirt and the fight started. In only one blow, I knocked my opponent across the street, through a window and through two steel shelving units. The women squealed in joy. My opponent moaned in abject misery. And Sonia, who was nearby, fell at my feet, weeping at the beauty of it all. She wanted to kiss my feet, but of course, I couldn't let her do that in public. Couldn't have lipstick prints on my best boots. Chicks are weird like that. She asked me to marry her, but I've had a lot of proposals like that lately and I figure I have plenty of time to pick and choose the best of the best.

Ink: You know, Kai, this is sounding more and more like a lie.

Is not! You saw it! The women openly wept at my glory!

Ink: ...Right. Go make lunch for me, slave.

Make your own lunch!

Ink: Finish answering the question and THEN make my lunch, bishounen slave! Or I'll write you out of the story, soap-opera style.

Grr...okay, okay! You probably guessed it, Logan, but my favorite game is Street Fighter. I could pwn any of them though. Including Bison. (huff) Better yet, I'll turn them into my mindless slaves and take over the world using their l33t powers. And Chun Li will be my queen. Ha. The end.

3-28-08 - Pocky, Duct Tape and Bishounen-Laden Anime

This session's questions:

1. Sonia, I was wondering, do you Like-LIKE locke, or just as a friend?

2. Locke, first off let me say that the coolest picture of you was when you first walked through the door of greenwood games and like, no one could see your face..^///^ cool. anyways, so are you going to ask sonia out or what?^^

3.kai and tremble, first of all tremble, i think you're alot cooler than kai:3 and the pair of you, PLEASE don't take over the world, i don't want to die-__-

4.kuri, you don't get alot of questions, do you? anyways,do you make your clothes(the really frilly ones)or buy them, if so WHERE?^^

5.elizabeth, i know how you feel, i have a....odd(?)brother too...anyways how do you survive having such wacky friends?(ecspecially sonia...and your brother...0.o)

6. locke's mom, just so you know, i tried your shampoo and it stinks(literally0.o) so maybe leave out the avacadoes,okay?^^
bye everyone! it was nice asking you these things^^ i hope you all will answer-and don't kill me...sonia you're not really THAT weird...

love in christ,

1. Sonia, I was wondering, do you Like-LIKE locke, or just as a friend?

People keep asking me that question. o.o Well, the fact of the matter is...I think he's...

...OW! Hey, Ink, what are you doing with that duct tape?! AAAAAA!

*duct tape noises* MMMFMFMF! o.o

2. Locke, first off let me say that the coolest picture of you was when you first walked through the door of greenwood games and like, no one could see your face..^///^ cool. anyways, so are you going to ask sonia out or what?^^

...>///> Ask her out to what? It isn't like I like her or anything. Not at all. She's just a friend. Some girl I know. You know.

...Uh...yeah, I did look good coming through the door, didn't I? I uh...I've been told I look good in doorways.

...Eheh. Yeah.

3.kai and tremble, first of all tremble, i think you're alot cooler than kai:3 and the pair of you, PLEASE don't take over the world, i don't want to die-__-

(translated) Woo hoo! I have fangirls!

WHAAA? Cooler than ME? O___o

Naturally. Women find me cute and yet powerful, feral and yet intelligent.


We'll pass on the world domination bit for now. This is more fun. :3 Rest assured, though, that in my new kingdom, you will have as much bishounen-laden anime as your heart desires, Jessica.

Someone get a translator for this dog! I think he's talkin' in Chinese!

4.kuri, you don't get alot of questions, do you? anyways,do you make your clothes(the really frilly ones)or buy them, if so WHERE?^^

My parents have a lot of money, so I buy them. They're designs straight from Japan. ^___^ I want a kimono too! And some sushi! Bring me some pocky...the kind I like with the cute little bows! ^___^

5.elizabeth, i know how you feel, i have a....odd(?)brother too...anyways how do you survive having such wacky friends?(ecspecially sonia...and your brother...0.o)

Earplugs. Earplugs are our friends.

6. locke's mom, just so you know, i tried your shampoo and it stinks(literally0.o) so maybe leave out the avacadoes,okay?^^

But...but...my perfect recipe! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! D:

bye everyone! it was nice asking you these things^^ i hope you all will answer-and don't kill me...sonia you're not really THAT weird...

(Sonia) Mmmfmfm. �__�

3-21-08 - Return of the Bother

This session's question:

Ok, this one is for Elizabeth:
Hey! If you and Kai are twins, then how come you don't look that much alike?
(P.S.-How can you live with a sibling that has such a humungous ego??!!)

God Bless!!-Tori K.

Dear Tori:

The easiest way to live with Kai is to ignore him altogether. An alternative answer is to hang an old rusty axe on the outside of your bedroom door with fake blood on the blade. It seems to keep him confused.

As far as our appearance is concerned, the story about Kai being my twin brother is somewhat messed up. You see, the day I was born, my parents discovered an infant child living under an idiot bush in our back yard. We theorized that his strange two-color hair is the result of an scientific experiment designed to cross pandas and humans. That also explains why we sometimes catch him gnawing on bamboo.


3-21-08 - Jamming

This session's question:

Dear Rose:

When you write music, do you plan it out in your head ahead of time or do you make it up as you go, or is there some other special way that you go about it? When I write music, I both plan it out and make it up so I figured I'd get some tips from an experienced fellow musician like yourself.

Hoping to jam sometime,

Hey M�. It�s simple. I just write a little note. Ahahaha! Get it? A little note?

That one really stank. Ink must be bored. Or boring. >.>;;;

Ink: Everyone's a critic. e.e

Wha? That was comedy gold! You have no sense of humor, Locke!

Bah! Where�s my fan mail? I�ll show you funny!


3-21-08 - Kai of the Seven Seas

This session's question:

Dear Kai (and any of the rest of the Game Plan! cast who wishes to answer):

If you were a pirate, what would be your greatest pleasure?

The Singing Swashbucker

Aww man. Pirates are awesome. We�re getting into that pirates vs ninjas thing here. (and if you really want to know, pirates pwn th3 w0rld) If I were a pirate, my greatest pleasure would be instilling fear in everyone who trespasses on MY sea. (In fact, it�s gonna be renamed the Great Kai Sea) I�d have a nifty eyepatch...but no peg leg. Man, how does anyone get around on one of those things, anyway?! It�s like a high heel for your KNEE or something. But, on the good side, I already have a companion for my shoulder. Who needs a parrot anyway? I already have a fortune telling dog! (he�ll have an eyepatch too. Because eyepatches are cool) I�m gonna get me a secret island, fill it with my loot and beautiful women, and retire there!

Beautiful women, huh? Does that mean you�re gonna take ROSE with you?


Someone say my name?

Kai�s totally gonna abduct you and take you to his secret island.


UGH! EWW! GIRLS MESSING UP MY DREAM LIFE! >.< All right, NO chicks on the island!

1-16-08 - Home Security Made Easy

This session's question:


How do you keep Kai and Tremble from sneaking into your house through the window? Did you plan something with your neighbor?


Hey Fay! You bet I did. I give the kid a candy bar every time she blasts Kai out of that tree with a hose. :3 I�ve also:

poured motor oil on the windowpane
set mousetraps
tied a gamer magazine out on the thin limbs of the tree
introduced him to the OTHER neighbor�s pit bull
put up a sign that says �trespassers will be strangled with every electronic cable on the premises�
caught his head in the window and dunked his head in pink hair dye
took a picture of him with an extremely bright flash and immortalized the look on his face before he fell
and the coup de grace:
put a mirror in the window and made him think his clone lives inside my house.

A little nasty...? Maybe. Kai�s just mad he didn�t think of any of it first. :3

Love in Christ,

1-16-08 - Locke's Secret

This session's question:

Dear Locke
How have you managed not to have a break down yet??!! It sounds like you have had a - dare I say so - rather bad life (to be brutally honest) and if I'd had that i would've curled up and died or something! I read this and felt so sorry for you. Also I just had to say, you're really cute looking, no matter what anyone says about Kai, I think you're nicer than him. <3
See ya
p.s. One other thing, how did you get so good at drawing?! I wish I could draw like that!

Kai is kinda a jerk, isn�t he. >.>; Sometimes I get mail saying how cute I am, but I don�t know. I wish that Sonia would s...


...>///> Never mind I taught myself how to draw from books and pictures and stuff the end thanks.


(Kai�s note at the end) I�m savin� this one for blackmail material. :3

1-16-08 - Scared by a Werewolf

This session's question:

Why is your hair silver? Did you dye it that color, or are you an ancient elf transported through time from Lord of the Rings?

~Last Nileo

Last Nileo:

My hair is naturally silver. My biological mother�s hair is like that too, which is a good reason for me to have the color changed (scribble. Sonia�s handwriting picks up here) Of course I am! I�m an elf from the past in disguise, on a secret mission to the future to collect the runes of power that will protect my sacred forest homeland from being destroyed! (another scribble. Locke�s handwriting) Yeah. Right. >.> The truth of the matter is, my mother was scared by a silver werewolf. I get an odd feeling during the full moon.


1-16-08 - Secret Recipe

This session's question:

Dear Locke's Mom (*doesn't know name*)
Where can I find the shampoo you use?! I MUST know!

- Adoring Hair Fan (aka eggroll)

Hello eggroll! :) Don�t tell anyone, but this is my secret shampoo recipe. Mix together milk, avacadoes, a banana or two, a couple of eggs or three, shortening, honey, oatmeal, cheerios, asparagus, chocolate syrup and a cherry on top. Wait...that�s not right. Got it mixed up with my super sundae recipe. Leave out the cherry on top. Enjoy!

Julia <3

1-16-08 - BattleDog.PWNS

This session's question:

These two questions came within 72 hours of each other. It�s true!

Hey Kai,

Have you and Tremble ever considered world domination?

~Last Nileo

Hey Tremble,

If you woke up tomorrow and found out that you were deemed ruler of the universe, what would you do?



Temulin. Last Nileo. The fact that the two of you sent in questions like this must mean...you think Tremble and I would make excellent leaders of planets, galaxies, and even UNIVERSES. And THAT means that among our many, many fans, there must be a demand to see us as your leader! (You can start by voting for us in �08)

Having said that, we HAVE considered world domination. The first step to our eventual success will be hacking into the computers of all the major governments and infecting them with a virus I�ve cleverly called BattleDog.PWNS. This virus will display a screensaver of Tremble in his many awesome battle poses while rendering the computer unusable. The only key that will work, Scroll Lock, will cause the computer to play back Tremble�s manly growl. The loss of their computers will drive the governments of the world into the dirt, allowing us to easily take control with our fleet of Battle Tanks. YEAH! We rock! From there, it�s just a small step to the universe. We might meet a few aliens on the way, but everyone knows aliens aren�t hard to bribe.

So that brings us to the other question, what next? First of all, Tremble tells me he would establish his own set of holidays. Chihuahua Day will become beloved by people galaxy-wide. We�ll take one of those really large planets, like Jupiter, and have it reshaped in our likenesses, too. Like Mt. Rushmore, but best seen through a powerful telescope. Ah, skip it, we�ll just fix the moon. You don�t need a telescope to see it and it�s just hanging there doing nothing anyway. A virtual reality video game will be made about our awesome adventures, so everyone knows just how cool we are by seeing it in person.

...Oh yeah, and world peace and all that.


11-30-07 - Beware the M-Rating

This session's question:

Hi, Sonia! I have a couple of questions for you. First, do you have a favorite video game (besides the one you and your friends are working on)? If so, what is it, and what makes it your favorite? Also, does your dad sell all kinds of games at his store or only select ones?

~Jessi Z

Hi Jessi! Let�s see. My favorite video game would be Mega Me wait. No, it would definitely be Soul S ...no, that�s not it either. I guess I don�t have a favorite. There are too many I love, and they�re all different. I like fighting games, action games, racing...anything that goes fast! I�m not that wild about RPGs, but I�ll play anything once, as long as the content isn�t too bad. Speaking of which, my dad doesn�t sell mature rated games at his store because it�s advertised as being family friendly. Some of those games are just gross. One time one of Kai�s "friends" let us borrow an M-rated game and we didn�t know what it was; I�d never heard of it before, for a good reason. When we discovered the first mission of the game was to blow zombie prostitutes into a thousand bloody chunks, we turned it off. Kuri sat there with a Bible on her head, hoping it would leech the mental images out. The poor girl still wakes up at night yelling "NOT THE GRENADES!" But her favorite games are Harvest Moon and Princess Peach, so what can you expect? (laugh)

Love in Christ,

11-30-07 - Dogs Can Use the Internet?

This session's question:

Dear Tremble:

What do you do in the middle of the night while Kai and Elizabeth are sleeping? Do you have wild doggie parties, or do you go out and paint the town yellow, or what?


(sadly, Tremble was not able to pen an answer to this letter. He has hired a dog-to-English translator to assist him)

Dear KyootPuppieLuvr:

During the late evening hours, when I am awake, I spend time "surfing the web," as the hip kids call it, in search of solid investment advice. While Kai has promoted my image as an impeccably masculine epitome of my form, while he is at school, I am actually a day trader. Poor boy, how he would react if he knew that I could buy him the Xbox of his dreams...many times over. No one has managed to figure out yet how that Gamecube mysteriously appeared under the Christmas tree a few years ago...heh heh. The internet is a wonderful thing for an intelligent canine.

Yours truly,
Tremble "Battle Dog" Mitchell

11-30-07 - A Bother of a Brother

This session's question:

Dear Elizabeth, you poor soul, what is it like having Kai for a brother?


Dear Ikostarr:

Having Kai for a brother is like cutting off your own leg with a toothpick and beating yourself with it while listening to a CD of greatest polka hits that skips right before the best part.

Elizabeth Mitchell

11-30-07 - A Sweet Question

This session's question:

Dear Kuri:

Have you ever considered starting a confectionary business when you're eventually all done with school? If so, what kinds of sweets would you make and sell?


Hello Chocoholic. <3

A confectionary business? That sounds sweet. (hehe) I like cooking nearly as much as art! But I don�t think I could do it professionally, because I really love making things for friends and I could never charge anyone for it. I love Valentine�s Day, too! What better way to show how much you love your friends than to bake them something really tasty? Which reminds me of Kai�s last birthday, actually. He announced for a couple of weeks in advance that he wanted a super deluxe triple frosted chocolate cake, so I told him I�d make it for him. It was in the shape of Tremble�s head. It was really cute, actually! It had chocolate M&Ms for eyes and a nose, and I even made a spiked dog collar out of frosting! But when we cut into it, it looked pretty strange with that gooey fudge center...

Um...so there you have it!

~Kuri <3

11-13-07 - Kai-sama's Origins

The number of questions for Kai-sama has been unprecedented, unexpected, and, well-received...by Kai, anyway. Due to his apparent popularity and quickly inflating ego, he wishes to answer several questions at one time.

This session's questions:

Why do you ask Tremble for his opinion?? I mean, come on! Its a dog for heavens sake! All it can say back is "arff!".

Hey Kai how did you get Tremble,The super-awesome battle dog!?!

Hey Kai,
Where did you get your good looks?

Hello, my wonderful fans! You're all awesome. Really. I mean, who wants to ask Locke questions, anyway, when a fun-loving guy like me is around?

In response to your questions, I'd like to tell you all about a fateful trip journey I took as a young man of fourteen, in my prime of life, if video games and anime are any indication. Let's go back to another time, long ago, when I wasn't quite as handsome as I am now, and I began my training to wield my family's most treasured heirloom, the Sword of Itbreaksstuffwhenyahitit. Don't laugh, it's genuine Native American! As I slaved away, training day and night to become worthy of this blessed blade, a beautiful woman appeared before me and said "O Brave Warrior! Let me lend you my power so you can go on!" and she gave me two gifts. She told me these gifts would help me to slay the evil mastermind who gripped the throat of my country in her evil claws! I drank from a golden cup filled with a special magical potion and instantly was transformed into the handsome stylish man you all know and love. Secondly, she gave me the strong, intelligent talking dog she kept constantly by her side to protect her night and day and to advise her, promising me that he would help me on my quest to become the king! It's good to be the king, y'know. The dog's name was Tremble, a name she gave the dog to confuse the enemy, but he wore a full suit of dog armor! It was awesome. Really. Spikes and everything, and he could shoot death rays with his mind! We ran through the countryside, defeating the enemy right and left, when suddenly, our true foe appeared...the evil sorceress Sonia! We fought a terrible but one-sided battle...in the end, she was defeated by our superior power and style and begged my forgiveness. Now, she is my court jester, I am the king, and Tremble is my chief advisor. Nuff said.

~The Royal King of the lands of Freeport, Kai von Mitchell XXVVMIII