Ask a Character!

This segment has been discontinued. Thanks to everyone who's sent me questions, it was fun!

Wanna see the old stuff? Click here.

6-19-09 - Moon Pie

This session's question:

Dear everyone:

Let's say that each of you have been caught with your hand stuck in a jar. What's in the jar, and how would you get your hand out? (Yes, Lucy. I already know about the cookies. ;) )

~ MelMak




(Sonia) Good question. Let's find out. *Shoves jar on Kai's hand*

(Kai) WHAT?! HEY, GET THIS OFF!

(Sonia) It's your favorite inside, Kai! Moon Pies!

(Kai) ...O_O *Grabs Moon Pie*

...Hey, I can't get my hand out!

(Sonia) X3 Now you're trapped forever, Jarhand!

(Kai) >O That's just evil! Depriving me of Moon Pies!

(Sonia) Wahaha. X3

(Elizabeth) I have a solution. *flash hammer*

(Kai) O_O Don't you do it! Don't smash the Moon Pies!

(Elizabeth) Who says I'm aiming at Moon Pies?

(Kai) O_______O Don't you dare, woman!

(Kuri) I've got it. ^^ Let's put butter on his hand. Maybe it will slide out with the Moon Pie.

(Locke, quietly) Why doesn't he just let the Moon Pie go? >.>

(Elizabeth, to the hammer) Don't worry, my pet. Your time will come.

(Kai) Okay, okay, let's do this! Kuri! Get the butter!

(Kuri) Hmm, it seems like all the butter is cold. :/ We can't shove it in the jar like that. I better warm it up.

(Kai) Well get to it! The Moon Pie is getting all clammy!

(Kuri heats up the butter on the stove) ^__^ Cooking is so fun, cooking is so fun~

(Kai) LESS SINGING! MORE MELTING! >O

(Kuri) You have to sing while you're cooking. ;__; It puts more love in the food.

(Kai) It don't need love, it needs hot! And I'm trying to get my hand out of a jar filled with a product of machinery, loaded with a lot of unnecessary overprocessed calories, destined for my stomach! >O LOVE AIN'T REQUIRED!

(Kuri) Well, if you're gonna be that way about it. >.> *dumps hot butter on Kai's hand*

(Kai) WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

(Kuri) You said heat instead of love. >.> That's what you got.

(Sonia) The Moon Pies are getting all...buttery. XD;

(Locke) Anyone got popcorn?

(Kai) STAY OUT OF THIS! >O And get mah hand out of this jar, Sonia!

(Sonia) I think Elizabeth wants to help.

(Elizabeth stands with hammer poised) :D

(Kai) NOT THAT!

(Locke) >v> Well, scientifically speaking, if something gets cold, it shrinks, right? Let's freeze his hand and pull it out.

(Kai) ...

...Wait, something's a little off about that...

(Sonia) BRILLIANT IDEA! :D I'll get the dry ice!

(Kai) WHAT?!

(Sonia dumps regular ice on his hand)

(Kai) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

...Wait, that doesn't hurt.

(Sonia) Durrrr.

(Kai) ...

...It's not working. DO SOMETHING!

(Locke) Dude. Let the Moon Pie go.

(Kai) NOOOO! >O KAI WANT!

(Kuri) The Moon Pies look kind of icky now. >.>

(Kai) KAI STILL WANT! NEED CHOCOLATE! NEED COOKIE! NEED MARSHMALLOW FLUFFY GOODNESS!

(Sonia) ...Looks more like...chocolate and marshmallow sludge. >.>

(Elizabeth) I have an idea. *Chainsaw~*

(Kai) NO! >.<;;;;

(Sonia) I vote we leave it there and paint the jar for the holidays. XD;

(Kai) Can't anyone help me get the Moon Pies out of this jar? >O

(Tremble walks up with a big feather. Tickles Kai with the feather. Kai lets the Moon Pie go and the jar drops to the floor.)

(Kai) ...

Why didn't you do that sooner?! Dumb dog.

(Tremble) Have you heard the story of the monkey and the banana?

(Kai) What does that have to do with this? >O

(Tremble) ...

...Back to the learning center with you. >.>

(Kai) ...Hey, is there such a thing as a banana-flavored Moon Pie? Mmm, Moon Pie. |3 *Sticks head in jar*

(Tremble) ...

(Kai) MFMFMFM! (Get me outta here!)

(Tremble) I wonder if we can sell him to the circus as the Amazing Jar-headed Man.


6-12-09 - Inner Animal

This session's question:

Here is a question from the JAck 5tack for the crazy kids of the Game Plan universe:

What is your inner animal?

I consider myself to be somewhat a mix between a beaver, an otter and a golden retreiver.




(Sonia) (clears throat) Okay, so the others couldn't be here today so I had them write down their answers for this week's AACF so I can tell you all about them. I guess I should start with myself.

I guess my inner animal would be a deer. Kai has personally requested me to add this footnote: "Deer Sonia, she bucks the latest trends. She fawns over the latest video games and hoofs it to the store to spend all her doe. She can be a real pain in the be-hind. The END!"

Eheh. I think that says it all. Not.

Locke wasn't very willing to answer, so I figured out an answer for him. X3 I think his inner animal would be a bear. At first he seems all big and growly and mean, but it turns out he's actually kind of cute and cuddly and...

...

...what're you looking at. >.>; Moving on to Kuri, she has this to say: "Inside, I'm a sweet little kitten that everyone wants to hug and cuddle! X3 And I have bows and ribbons and bells..." It goes on like that. I think her inner kitten strangled itself with cuteness. O_o

Rose says: "Oh, that's easy. I'm a rockin' horse!" I always knew she was a little imbalanced.

Elizabeth: "My inner animal could be considered most like an eagle or perhaps a hawk. I can see you from above, at great distances, I'm a known carnivore, I swoop down to attack, and I can drop mysterious substances on your head from high altitudes." What exactly does this girl do in her spare time? >.> Oh wait, it's probably attacking the last member of our little peanut gallery:

Kai: "I'm totally a wolf inside. The most awesome, toughest beast in nature!" That explains why he wolfs down his food, howls all the time, and is becoming an endangered species. >.>

(Ink) Hey Sonia. Where are the guys today, anyway?

(Sonia) Oh. ^^; They went to the zoo for a family reunion.


5-29-09 - The Melancholy of Kai

This session's question:

Hello everyone! Suppose you're in a Manga or Anime (I'm not saying you are, and if you think you are you're delusional). Would their be any certain characters from an anime or manga you'd want with you? What would be the storyline? Etc, etc, etc, etc, etc. P.S. Kai...I just made Chun-Li my empress yesterday :)

From Emperor Arminillo





(Sonia) What was that sound? o.o

(Elizabeth) I think it was the sound of the fourth wall shattering.

(Kai, off to one side) ...;__;

(Sonia) What's wrong with you? o.o

(Kai) My queen has left me for another man...AN ARMADILLO!

(Sonia) ...There there...I think that's Arminillo.

(Kai) AN ARMADILLO THAT CAN'T SPELL! AAAAAAAAH! My life is over. ;___;

(Sonia) Why don't you pick another girl to be your queen? Some nice manga or anime girl?

(Kai) ...;__; Really? Like who?

(Sonia) Oh...well...let's see. Someone tough, right?

(Kai) Yeah.

(Sonia) And pretty, right?

(Kai) Of course. =n=

(Sonia) And?

(Kai) She's gotta be able to cook and clean and bring me my paper in the morning. =n=

(Sonia) You don't read the paper.

(Kai) ...Okay, my laptop then.

(Sonia) Is that all?

(Kai) ...Think so.

(Sonia) Okay...I'm going to feed this into our matchmaking computer here and see who we get.

(Computer) Processing....processing...done.

(Sonia) And here she is...your new queen, Kai!



(Kai) ...Ha ha. Kaede. That's real funny, Sonia.

(Sonia) Hey, you're the one with the specifics here. XD;

(Kai) ...

...That's it!

(Sonia) Settling for Kaede after all? XD;

(Kai) Noooo. >.<; I'll make up my own hot anime girl, the prettiest girl anyone's ever seen! As for our storyline, I'll be...YES. I'll be a young, knowledgeable, rebellious street-fighting man who saves this beautiful girl from the forces of evil! And she falls madly in love with me. The end.

(In the background, Tremble, wearing a "forces of evil" t-shirt, is threatening Rose with a spork.)

(Rose) Help me! ;o;

(Kai) So what about you, Sonia? Who would you pick?

(Sonia) Ed from Full Metal Alchemist, hands down.

(Kai) Yeah? Why that shortie?

(Ed suddenly flies out of nowhere, beats the stuffing out of Kai, and runs away.)

(Sonia) That answer your question? :D

(Kai) I think he missed a spot...

(Alphonse comes out of nowhere and runs over him.)

(Kai) Oh...ow. He got it. X_x


5-22-09 - Baby Pictures

This session's question:

Dear Everyone.....and ink if u want 2

what did u guys look like as babies? i wanna c those cute little faces!! eeeeeee!!!

-yours truly
-andie




(Kuri) Aww! I KNEW someone would ask this question someday! So I prepared! X3

(Sonia) ...o.o; How did you "prepare?"

(Kuri) I got this extra special album of embarrassing baby photos! X3

(Kai) WHAT?! I...! ...I don't...have embarrassing baby photos. >.>;;;;

(Kuri) Yeah? I've got one here that looks just like you, Kai. X3



(Kai) WHAT?!

(Kuri) This is the day you got the cat stuck to your head with bubble gum. X3 Your mom told me aaaaall about it.

(Kai) MOM! >O THAT'S NOT MANLY!

(Kuri) Babies aren't supposed to be manly. X3; They're supposed to be cute!

(Kai) XP~

(Kuri) Oh, here's another good one of Rose!

(Rose) ...o.o;



(Kuri) I think that's a recorder hanging out of her ears.

(Sonia) ...How did you pull that off, Rose? O____o

(Rose) I don't know! ;o;

(Kai) Dude. o.o; I don't see any wires...

(Sonia) Kuri, stop this madness! ;o;

(Kuri) Oh, here's one of you, Sonia! ^__^



(Kai) ...>v> Like that toilet paper, Sonia?

(Sonia) Oh shut up, Kai! >.<;;;

(Kuri) I think I have more of Kai in here...

(Kai) ...I'll be good. o.o;

(Kuri) Hey, I found one of your sister. :3



(Elizabeth) ...Where did you get that, and how much do I have to pay you to destroy it.

(Kuri) X3; You can't buy me, Liza-chan~

(Elizabeth) ...Then I must plot your demise. Excuse me. (slinkaway~)

(Sonia) So where are YOUR pictures, Kuri? >.o

(Kuri) I have pictures of me too! (flip flip~) Oh! ...

...Oh. o.o

(Sonia) MUST SEE NOW. (snatch~)



(Sonia) OMGOSH. XDDD

(Kai) AHAHAHA! Did you get a good whiff of your dad's gym shoes, Kuri? XDDD

(Kuri) Oh, hush. >///o

(Sonia) Hey...we haven't seen Locke yet. Where are his pictures? X3

(Locke) You better not, Kuri. >.o

(Kuri) Oh, I was saving the best for last. X3;

(Locke) DON'T YOU DO IT!

(Kuri) I'm going to reveal a startling secret! Locke was, as a baby, actually a...

(Locke) NOOOOOO!

(Kuri) AN LOLCAT! MWAHAHAHA!



(Kai) WHOA! O___O

(Sonia) D: WAAAAAI!

(Locke) My career is over...;o;

FOUR DAYS LATER -

(Sonia) ...You're getting more fan mail than ever, Locke. Seems like fangirls love LOL Cats.

(Kai) ...Wonder if I'm too old to cash in on that. >.>;;;;


5-15-09 - Pirates VS Ninjas!

This session's question:

Okay, I have got to know...All of you... Pirates or ninjas?
(btw: Kai is an awesomeful name ^.^ I might name my kid that...
and Locke, I could pass for a cantelope X3)
~Miss Kreena Skywalker




(Locke) ...o.o;

(Kai) See? That's what I've been trying to tell everyone! I'm awesomeful!

(Locke) ...That's not what she said. She said your NAME w...

(Kai) I CAN'T HELP IT SHE PUT A TYPO IN THERE! >O

(Locke) Uh...right. >.>;;; So what'll it be? Pirates or ninjas?

(Kai) Pirates, duh.

(Locke) Why pirates? Ninjas are cooler.

(Kai) ...You picked ninjas because I picked pirates, didn't you.

(Locke) Yeah, pretty much. XD;

(Kai) Pirates are better. Ninjas could only make it in Japan, but there are pirates all over the world. XP~

(Locke) You mean big, burly, unshaven men in a rickety wooden boat sailing around drunkenly on the sea? Yeah, I see that a lot.

(Kai) Yeah? Well ninjas are just a bunch of girly men throwing around little tiny metal stars because their poor baby hands can't handle the weight of a REAL weapon!

(Locke) All right, let's ask the girls what they think. Sonia?

(Sonia runs in) Yes? :3

(Locke) Ninjas, right?

(Sonia) Ninjas left?

(Locke) Ninjas are better than pirates.

(Sonia) I'm kind of into samurai myself.

(Locke) But which is better? Ninjas or pirates? >.o

(Sonia) Oh...if I gotta pick...pirates.

DUN DUN DUN!

(Locke) ...D:

(Kai) Chick's got taste. XD

(Locke) Why are you siding with him?

(Sonia) Who said I was siding with him? >.>; You asked which was better. Pirates rule the seas and ninjas can't even find their way out of Japan.

(Kai) 8D AHAHAHA!

(Locke) I'm not speaking to you anymore >.>

(Kai) Watch out, I'm gonna steal your chick, Locke.

(Sonia) Of course, ninjas can run up walls and jump from building to building for some reason...I've never seen a pirate do that.

(Kai) ...You can keep her.

(Locke) Don't look at me, I don't want her. >.>

(Sonia) I'm going to become a ninja. X3 I'll go around...doing...ninja stuff.

(Kai) What do ninjas do that's so great?

(Sonia) ...Uh...they...fight and do stealth stuff. Sometimes at the same time. And in cool clothes.

(Kai) PAJAMAS! Ahaha! Ninjamas!

(Locke) So what's a pirate's pajamas called?

(Kai) ...Uh...Pi-jamas?

(Locke) ...Pie-jamas.

(Kai) ...Yeah. Pie pirates. They uh...bake stuff. In the shape of weapons and treasure. Cuz they're cool like that.

(Locke) ...

(Kai) HEY! Everyone's gotta eat, man! >O

And yet another fine question completely UNRESOLVED by the AACF team!


5-8-09 - When I Grow Up

This session's question:

Dear Lucy:

Hi sweetie! ^_^ Just wondering, what would you like to be when you grow up? :)

~ MelMak




(Lucy) Oh, that's easy. I wanna be a...

(Kai) Rockstar! >O

(Rose) No wait, that's me! I'm gonna be a rockstar! You could be my backup singer though. ^w^

(Lucy) But I don't sing too good. :/

(Rose) Oh. ^^;; Then...how about a doctor!

(Lucy) But blood makes me dizzy. :/

(Sonia) I got it! She could be the president!

(Lucy) President...? I could make laws where everyone gets teddy bears, right? :D

(Sonia) Er...something like that. ^^;

(Kai) Put em all together! She could be the world's first rockapresidoc!

(Sonia) ...Rockapresidoc.

(Elizabeth grabs him by the collar and starts dragging him away) He's been in the Pop Rocks again. >.>

(Kai) NOOOOOO! ;o; *fizzy noises*

(Elizabeth) Hey Lucy. Wanna play scientist?

(Lucy) Okay. :3

(Elizabeth) Let's pour Pop Rocks in his mouth and pour a can of soda on top. Shake 'im up and see if his head explodes.

(Lucy) ... :O

(Kai) HEY! That's not funny!

(Elizabeth) We're just culling out your worst features, Kai.

(Kai) ...O_o Oh, okay.

...Wait a minute...

(Lucy) XD! This is funny science. *Gives Kai teddy bear.*

(Kai) Starting your presidential campaign early? >.> Kid, I'm a grown man. I dun need a teddy bear.

(Lucy) ...;__;

(Kai) ...

(Lucy) ...;o;

(Kai) ...

(Lucy) Wa....wa....waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

(Kai) OKAY OKAY! Just don't cry. >.>

(Sonia) Hey, that's just like a politician. XD;

(Elizabeth) She should become a therapist.

(Sonia) Why? o.o

(Elizabeth) Kai's gonna need one when I'm done with him. ^^

(Kai) HEY! >O

(Rose) A rockatherapresidoc?

(Lucy) :O I can do it!

(all) SHE CAN DO IT!

(Lucy) ...Except for one thing.

(all) WHAT?

(Lucy) I can't spell that. ^^;

(all) Oh. >.>

(Ink) Brief interruption here for a word from our sponsors, the fine people who manufacture Webstergraphs. Yes, this exquisite device, linked to the cemetery where Noah Webster is buried by global Wi-Fi, measures exactly how many times Mr. Webster spins in his grave with every abuse of the English language! Makes a great conversation piece and ice breaker at parties! Compete with your friends to see who can do the most damage! Only $19.99.

(Sonia) Are you done yet?

(Ink) Yes. =_= *walks away slowly*

(Kai) Okay. We're gonna start giving you ideas, Lucy, and you tell us which one you think is the best! Ready, set, go!

(Lucy) But I just wanna be a...

(Kai) Construction worker? Demolitions expert? Rowboat technician?

(Sonia) Interior decorator? Teacher? Doggie fashion designer?

(Rose) Barbecue sauce expert? Ballroom dancer? Hot dog scarfing champion?

(Lucy) PRINCESS!

(all) Huh? o.o

(Lucy) I'm gonna be a fluffy pretty princess and rule the whole world with my pretty magic scepter. ^__^

(all) ...Oh. O_o

(Kai) I can't teach this kid anything. I'm outta here. >.>

(Sonia) Me too. >.>

(Rose) Aww, I wanted a backup singer.

(They all leave.)

(Lucy) ...

...Okay, they're gone now. You can start wrecking this place.

(Construction worker nearby) Whatever you say, Miss Lucy.

(Lucy) I'm gonna make this into my President hideout and plan for world domination. X3

(Construction worker) You got it, kid. >.>;

Uh...Vote Lucy in 2032! I think...


5-1-09 - Poetry

This session's question:

Dear everyone:

Have you ever considered writing poetry? Did you come up with anything good?

~ShoujoFlower




(Sonia) This sounds like it should be a pretty nice AACF for a change. o.o

(Locke) Don't count on it. >.>;;;

(Kai) Poetry? Which one of us actually writes poetry? O_o

(Elizabeth) Actually, I've been known to pen a few poems from time to time.

(Sonia) Really? I didn't know that.

(Elizabeth) Well, I try not to brag. In fact, I wrote a few poems about you guys.

(Sonia) Really? :3

(Elizabeth) Just happens that I have them with me. *paperflourish*

My first poem is called "Locke."

Locke o Locke, thy face is sad.
Thy neck gets short when thou�rt mad.
And when the fangirls come about,
you pick up a bat and knock them...into next Tuesday.


(Locke) ...

(Sonia) HEY! That didn't rhyme!

(Locke) I never hit fangirls. And my neck doesn't get short when I get mad. >.o

(Elizabeth) That's probably what's wrong with you...you don't take out your aggressions enough. (And yes it does.)

(Sonia) I hope you have a better poem than that in store. >.o

(Elizabeth) I've got one for all of you, actually.

(Kai) Your poem about me better be good, woman. >O

(Elizabeth) It's very...appropriate. This one I call "Kai and Chun Li."

(Kai) ...Okay, I'll bite. Let's hear it.

(Elizabeth) Ahem.

There once was a boy named Kai,
Whose panda-head made the girls cry.
He tried to court Chun Li
til she got mad, you see,
and she kicked him...into the La Brea tar pits.

(Sonia) BAHAHAHA!

(Kai) WHAT?!

(Locke) It still didn't rhyme. >.>;

(Elizabeth) Fine, fine. >.> So my rhyming skills aren't that great. How about a haiku?

(Sonia) Okay. If we have to.

(Elizabeth)

Kuri�s frilly dresses
caught up in the wind, she lands
in some power lines


(Kuri) ...o.o; Is my dress really that bad?

(Sonia) ...Uh...Lizzie. (Lizzie Borden, maybe...) Do you have any poems that don't involve violence?

(Elizabeth) Oh, sure. Like this one, for instance.

Sonia
leader of us
rebel with cause
writes a good story
but in my opinion
she doesn�t
write about
enough
guns


(Sonia) It still involves guns! >.o;

(Elizabeth) But not violence.

(Rose) Okay, okay. ^^; I wanna hear my poem.

(Elizabeth) A connoisseur. =n=

girl of the music rose
is the note of the flower blooming
songs of heart and the axe
grinding melody and nighttime
keeping awake me.


(Rose) ...o.o;

(Locke) E.E. Cummings is still alive? >.>;;;

(Awkward silence.)

(Tremble) Read them my poem, Elizabeth.

(Elizabeth) Okay.

The most magnificent dog Tremble
the highlight of all of my days.
He walks beside me and guards me
and he�s worthy of all of my...thank yous and stuff.


(Locke) ...It STILL doesn't rhyme.

(Tremble) *shrug* What do you expect with budget poetry? >.>;


4-24-09 - Hair

This session's question:

Hey Locke and Kai, if you had to change your hair to something even more un-natural than what you already have..... how would you do it?

Oh, and it has to be something a dog can do- i hired Tremble to be your stylist =3 have fun!

-Kurea-Chan




(Tremble) *snicker*

(Kai) O___O Dog's gonna do my hair? Do my 'do?

...YOU BETTER NOT DOO ON MY 'DO, DOG!

(Tremble) I won't, if I ever figure out what that means.

(Locke) I have the feeling this question is going to go badly for me. =_=

(Kai) What, you afraid that someone's gonna style your hair all girly? X3;

(Locke) Better than your look. You're like a hairy dairy cow.

(Kai) HEY! That reminds me. If I'm gonna change my 'do, it's gonna be another color. Maybe...

(Tremble) Lavender.

(Kai) WHAT?! LAVENDER IS A GIRLY COLOR!

(Tremble) Your stylist recommends lavender. He also recommends hot pink highlights.

(Kai) My stylist is going to have a hot pink highlight on his butt when I kick him out the window!

(Tremble) You can't kick me out the window.

(Kai) AND WHY NOT?

(Tremble) The word "PETA" comes to mind.

(Kai) ...Oh. >.> Do they read this?

(Tremble) ...Yes...every week. >.>;;; Every day. Maybe even twice a day.

(Kai) ...O_o

(Locke) Can we PLEASE get through AACF and stay on topic? Just once? Please?

(Kai) Okay, okay. >.> If I was gonna change my already fantastic hair, I'd go for the spiky look. In...blonde. Yeah. ^^



(Locke) ...That looks familiar.

(Kai) O_o Okay, you can do better?

(Locke) Sure.



(Random fangirl squeals of luv)

(Locke) See?

(Kai) ...Looks like a girl to me. >.>

(Locke) It's not that bad. >.o

(Kai) Wanna bet? *Flashes a bunch of random bishie pics. Fangirls squeal~*

(Locke) So what's that prove?

(Kai) This one's actually a girl.

(Locke) ...o.o; Oh, that's...incredibly awkward.

(fangirl silence. >.>)


4-10-09 - Artstronaut

This session's question:

To kai,locke, and little neighbor girl

What do you guys want to be when you go to college and get a job? (locke u need to get a job) (kai you might not know me but we are going to be married) (little neighbor girl what is your name???) ( again locke that wasn't a misprint i do love kai and you can go marry a canalope)

-andie





(Kai) That's right, everyone. ^__^ Hear that, Locke? I'm in your fanbase stealin' your girls.

(Locke) ...

(Kai) ...Whut.

(Locke) ...

(Kai) WHAT?!

(Locke) I was thinking that marrying a cantaloupe would make for a lonely wedding night.

(Kai) ...Did you drop out of school or something to get that dumb? >.>;

(Little Neighbor Girl, who will be known as LNG until I changes mah mind) I WANNA BE AN ASTRONAUT!

(Locke) ...I thought you wanted to be an artist.

(LNG) ...

...I'll be the world's first ARTSTRONAUT! I'll paint on the space shuttle!

(Locke) You mean IN the space shuttle, or ON the space shuttle? >.>

(LNG) ON the space shuttle. X3 It'll look pretty!

(Kai) Girl after my own heart. X3 Paint my likeness!

(LNG) Okay! ^__^ My first painting will be of a trollman!

(Kai) ...WAIT, WHAT?!

(LNG) It'll be like this! *draw*



(Locke) I see the resemblance. XD;

(Kai) Shut up, Locke. >.> So what are you gonna be when you grow up, if you ever do?

(Locke) ...An...artist? I guess? >.> And it looks like you're going to be Andie's slave boy.

(Kai) Wha? Kai ain't nobody's slave!

(Locke) Kai ain't master of English, either. XD;

(Kai) What part of shut up didn't you understand?! >O

(Locke) The way you say it, no one understands any of it.

(Kai) *growl* Okay, last question. Annoying neighbor kid. What's your name?

(LNG) It's a secret. X3;

(Kai) What, you wanted by the FBI or something? (Can we get them to take you away?)

(LNG) My mama told me never to talk to strangers. And I can't think of anyone stranger than you!

(Kai) ...=o= Why is it that I can't get any respect?

(Locke) It could be because you talk down to people, badmouth them, make fun of them, throw pies at them, and program their computers to ask for input in the form of 8-track tapes?

(Kai) ...Yeah, but do you have a REAL reason?

(Locke) ...You're hopeless. =_=\


4-3-09 - Dialogue with a Fangirl.

This session's question:

Okay, there is no question this week! Manga Star and I were just talking about aliens and this little skit happened. Enjoy!




inkhana: Hide me Kai!

Kai: Hide yourself. I'm making a TV dinner.

MangaStar: =_= with guys like Kai, Chivalry is truly dead

MangaStar: HIDE MEH TREMBLE!!

Tremble: <.< >.> *puts you under the sofa and covers it in tinfoil* X3

MangaStar: <3 my hero

MangaStar: *kisses tremble on the head*

inkhana: Tremble's the best dog evar! ^__^

Tremble: Of course I am. ^__^

MangaStar: O_O I forgot that you can talk

MangaStar: EEK!! ARE YOU an ALIEN?!?

Tremble: I'm a fictional dog, so I can do whatever I want. ^^

MangaStar: *wipes seat off of forehead* phew

MangaStar: *psst* hey tremble! You wouldn't happen to know Algebra would you? ^^;;

Tremble: I'm a dog, not a rocket scientist. >.>;;;;

MangaStar: *snaps fingers* durn =_=

MangaStar: SOOOO, when did you start talking?

MangaStar: Why don't you talk in GP?

MangaStar: I mean, you bark, but not TALK

Tremble: ...Uh...<.< >.> I was...uh...involved in a radioactive accident and...turned into...a dog who can talk. Yeah, that's it! And I'm trying to keep my superdog skills quiet.

MangaStar: =_=

MangaStar: that sounds strangely like something out of Spider-Man or the Hulk

MangaStar: what superdog skills?

MangaStar: are you like, superdog's cousin or something??

Tremble: *puts away comic book* <.< >.> I gotta run now! WAAAAH! (zoom~)

MangaStar: XP Your dog is weird, Kai

MangaStar: very cute, but really weird @_@

MangaStar: (and how he can hold up comic books?)

Kai: He mutated an opposable thumb. >.> Stupid radioactive dog.

MangaStar: you're jealous

MangaStar: XP

MangaStar: he's getting all your fangirls

MangaStar: *takes out statistics notebook* Kai's fanbase is down by: -20%

MangaStar: while Tremble's is up by: +200%

MangaStar: YIKES O_O

MangaStar: might as well kiss your fangirls goodbye Kai XDD

Kai: WHA?! IMPOSSIBLE! *grabs notebook and looks* ...why are the lines all sideways. Oh wait. *flip* WAIT, THEY'RE GOING -DOWN- NOW! *flip* ...Better, they're going up now. My fan base is secure. =w=

MangaStar: *sticks out tongue at you* not with me it isn't

Kai: Oh, Locke fangirl, eh? What are you doing in my kitchen, anyway? ...Oh wait, this is your kitchen, isn't it.

MangaStar: Give the guy an award =_=

MangaStar: and yes

MangaStar: I <3 Locke

MangaStar: *SQUEEE*!

Locke, from nowhere: Mwahaha.

Kai: SHUT UP LOCKE! >.<;

MangaStar: LOCKE!!! *O* *SQUEEEE!!*

MangaStar: *huggles Locke* You ish AWESOME!!

Locke: @_@

Kai: What's so great about him? >O

MangaStar: Well *keeps a deathgrip on Locke* He's CUTE, and SWEET and SHY

MangaStar: ...and has great hair

MangaStar: <3

Kai: My hair is AWESOME, woman! >o

Locke: Maybe your "chicks" hate being called "woman." >.>

MangaStar: OHMIGOSH!! LOCKE'S SENSITIVE TOO!!

MangaStar: *hugs* where have you been hiding?

Locke: I was supposed to be in my fangirl-proof shelter but it was only rated for level 3 fangirl attacks. :/

MangaStar: <3 <3 <3 *giggles* XD

MangaStar: you ish all mine

MangaStar: not other fangirls can has you XD

Kai: Yeah, well, I can has cheezburger. *eats from the microwave* I PWN U ALLZ!

Locke: You have ketchup on your head, Kai. >.>

MangaStar: Kai just got PWNED by the sensitive bishie

MangaStar: *puts a score on the scoreboard*

MangaStar: Locke: 10

MangaStar: Kai: -0

Kai: WHAT?! How can I be NEGATIVE ZERO?!

Locke: That's how everyone feels about you. >.>;;;

MangaStar: Plus, I'm trying to make Algebra fun

MangaStar: every time Kai opens his mouth, he gets more points

MangaStar: Locke: 12

MangaStar: Kai: -20

Kai: WHAAAAAT?! NOT FAIR!

Locke: Better shut up. X3;

MangaStar: Locke: 30

MangaStar: Kai: 150

MangaStar: WAI!

MangaStar: Kai: -150

MangaStar: I forgot, always add negitives, or it changes the value

Kai: I am so leaving for another webcomic! I can't get any respect around here! >.<;;;; Where's the fan love?! I'm the best character in this series!

MangaStar: =_=

MangaStar: Kai gets more points for the attitude: -1000

MangaStar: Locke: 1000 <3

Locke: What can I say? :3

MangaStar: Locke: 1150!!

Kai: *flips scoreboard over* THERE! Now it's Kai - 0001- ! That must be positive! ...wait, that's still not as much as Locke! AGHGHGHGH!

MangaStar: Poor Kai

MangaStar: ooookkkk

MangaStar: Kai: -2

MangaStar: there's some fan love for ya

MangaStar: happy?

Kai: ...Wait, that's still negative, right?

MangaStar: it's a lot more then -1000

MangaStar: oooook

MangaStar: I'm feeling nice now

MangaStar: Kai: 50

MangaStar: there

MangaStar: positive :D

Kai: WOOHOO! I'm in the black! :D

MangaStar: Sooo kai

MangaStar: one way to win bonus points with me would be admitting you likey Rose XD

Kai: Like -who?- >.>

MangaStar: Rooooooseee from GP XD

MangaStar: u know the one

MangaStar: she's half-in love with you already

MangaStar: she said so more then once in the AACF ;-)

MangaStar: come onnnnnn

MangaStar: you two would make such a cute couple XD

Kai: Never met her. >.>;;;;;

MangaStar: Kai: -5

MangaStar: admit it

Kai: HEY! >.<; Not fair!

MangaStar: Kai: -10

Kai: ...;__; C'mon, man! That ain't my style!

MangaStar: Kai: -100

MangaStar: XD your points are going doooown the toliet

MangaStar: while Locke's is

MangaStar: Locke: 10,000

Kai: Why me. =_=\ I don't even LIKE her! She just follows me around!

MangaStar: you do

MangaStar: admit it

MangaStar: or you'll have way less then zero

MangaStar: Kai: -159

Kai: When did I ever say, or even indicate, that I liked her?! >.<;

MangaStar: how about the fact that you get so frusterated, and blushy when I ask you if you like her?

MangaStar: that got you some points

MangaStar: Kai: 10

Kai: ...Hey, I can do frustrated! How about this? *bangs head into wall*

MangaStar: can you make yourself blush?

MangaStar: X[

Kai: Owowow...@_@ *head is red from bashing*

MangaStar: doesn't count

MangaStar: Kai: 15

MangaStar: (for liking Rose)

Kai: ...@_@ *shakes it off* Okay. I'm gonna meet you halfway on this. Handsome guys are supposed to have their secrets, right? Chicks dig mysterious guys. And if you blow my secrets all over the place, I'm gonna lose part of my bishounen coolness.

MangaStar: ok

MangaStar: my lips are sealed

Kai: But what about anyone else who might read this? We better burn it.

MangaStar: and I thought Iw as the conspiracy theoriest?

Kai: Yeah...well...I've seen movies! I know how people work!

MangaStar: =_=

MangaStar: we can't burn it

MangaStar: spill

MangaStar: now

Kai: ...*pours some water down the sink* Hey, you didn't specify what to spill. >.>;;

MangaStar: Kai points die in 3...2...

Kai: WAAAAAH! NO! >O IT CAN'T END THIS WAY!

MangaStar: 1 BOOM

Kai: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *passes out*

MangaStar: sorry dude

MangaStar: got to go

MangaStar: *huggles*

MangaStar: bye!

MangaStar: :D

Locke: Bye, good fan girl. XD;

Kai: X_X


3-27-09 - Cracked.

This session's question:

Dear, Everyone,
In your own opinions, who would be the most cracked pairing and the most destined pairing in your group?

P.S. For destined pairing, it can't be Sonia and Locke. To obvious! x3

<3 Mizuki Mitsukai




An awkward silence fills the room...

(Locke) ...=///=

(Kai) I ain't taking aaaaaany part in this one. >.>;;;

(Elizabeth) Most destined pairing: Kai and something of the same intellect - a Windows 95 installation disc.

(Kai) HEY! I write my own operating system, woman! KaiOS is the platform of the NEXT GENERATION!

(Elizabeth) Too bad you can't write yourself a girlfriend.

(Rose) I'll be your girlfriend. ;v;

(Kai) NO GIRLS! >_o TREMBLE! TELL THEM!

(Tremble) Personally, I think the most destined pairing should be Kuri...and me.

(Kuri) ^__^

(Kai) The wha? DOG! EXPLAIN!

(Tremble) What's not to love about Kuri? She's feminine, pretty, has good taste in fashion, is artistic and sensitive, and lets me drink tea from the fine china. When's the last time you gave me tea, Kai?

(Kai) MEN DON'T DRINK TEA! And a plastic cup from McDonalds is good enough for anyone!

(Tremble) Not to mention she isn't a barbarian like the rest of you. >.>

(Kai) Okay, most cracked pairing is Kuri and Tremble! >.o;;; Cuz I'm gonna crack your heads together!

(Kuri) Tremble is such a gentleman. ^__^ Not like Kai.

(Kai) >_o;;; Whachoo talkin' about?

(Kuri) Well...um...

...You're loud, obnoxious, conceited, arrogant, overestimate yourself, and you smell kind of funny. >.>;;;

(Kai) ...

(Tremble) How true.

(Sonia) OWNAGE! Kuri gets a cookie. X3;

(Kai) HEY! I do NOT smell funny!

(Tremble) I beg to differ. >.>

(Sonia) BACK ON TOPIC! Who's the next sucker...I mean...volunteer on the list?

(Elizabeth) I have candidates for destined pairing. Myself...and Locke.

(Sonia) ...D: Wha? You and Locke?

(Locke) Me...and Elizabeth? O___o;

(Elizabeth, clinging to Locke's arm) Uh huh. Does anyone object? (looking at Sonia~)

(Sonia) Hey, what makes you guys destined?

(Elizabeth) You read the letter. You can't be destined because it's "too obvious." I'm the last person people would suspect. Well, except maybe Kuri, but Kuri's taken already. >v>

(Tremble) And she found a good catch, I might add.

(Sonia) What if -I- wanted him? >_o;

(Elizabeth) What are you saying, Sonia? :D You likey Lockie?

(Locke) May I please die now? =_=

(Sonia) It isn't LIKE that!

(Elizabeth) So you don't mind if I take off with him! :D

(Sonia) HEY! You can't take off with him! He's like...the main character! Only second to me!

(Kai) Actually, you're both second to me. =n=

(all) SHUT UP!

(Elizabeth) It's okay if you admit you like him, Sonia. ;) Aww, just a little smoochie to show him how you feel.

(Sonia) =///= You guys are awful.

(Locke) ...X_X

(Elizabeth) ...Locke? o.o;

(Locke) ...x_x

(Sonia) ...You killed him with embarrassment, Elizabeth. Way to go. Now no one gets him. >.<;

(Elizabeth) Oops. =_=

(Tremble picks up Kuri) Away, my love. We will no longer partake of this foolishness. =n= (zoom~)

(Locke) x.x *is dead*


3-20-09 - El Dorado

This session's question:

To: Everybody
*cough* *cough* Ink decides she's bored and hands you all a map to where EL Dorado is. Whoever finds it first gets the most gold. Any last words?
Form: Kioko




(Sonia) Oooh, lookie. The map's drawn in crayon. o.o

(Locke) ...What's this in the corner?

(Sonia) "Copyright 1987, Cheap as Dirt Maps."

(Kai) Figures. Ink bought a budget map.

(Ink) Our sponsor for this week is cheapasdirtmaps.com! Exploring on a shoestring budget? Try out our selection of discontinued "Might Get Ya There" specials! Guaranteed to be at least 85% accurate when held in the right light!

(all) ...

(Kai) So what's El Dorado?

(Sonia) Haven't you seen any movies? >.o It's a city made out of gold!

(all) ...Oooo...

(Kai) ...How many games can I buy with a city of gold?

(Elizabeth) Let's not bother him with facts like historical interest and preservation. >.o

(Kai) HEY! I can preserve it! I'll sell it in one big chunk to...I dunno...the king of Canada!

(Elizabeth) CANADA. DOESN'T. HAVE. A. KING.

(Kai) Oh, that's what they WANT you to believe. Prime Minister and the House of Talking Heads! YEAH RIGHT! THEY'RE HIDING THE KING IN THE BASEMENT!

(Sonia) The basement of what? O_o

(Kai) THE KING WAREHOUSE!

(all) ...

(Sonia) Don't they sell...clothes or something...?

(Locke) ...Getting back to the point, are we going to use this map to find "El Dorado" or what?

(Sonia) Okay! :D

Completely ignoring the fact that with the exception of Kuri, they're all too poor to actually fly anywhere and can't go to El Dorado without their parents' permission anyway, they're off!

Later, in the Uredthamapwrong Forests of the Getlawst Mountains (which are located somewhere in the country of Idjit)...

(Sonia) This doesn't look like El Dorado to me. :/

(Kai) Let's split up! Sonia, you and I will go this way, and Locke and the females can go that way.

(Locke) ...Why don't YOU take care of "the females?"

(Kai) Cuz Sonia's tougher than you are and they like you better anyway.

(Locke) Yeah? Well I'm taking her with me.

(Sonia) Oh Locke! Don't take your hostage princess to your hidden base in El Dorado! D:

(Rose) I'll be your captive princess anytime, Kai! :D

(Kai) ...Uh...no. Sonia, you're with me. I got the most experience of everyone here, so let's go.

(Sonia) I say the girls go in one group and the guys go in another. >.>

(Kuri) I've got gourmet hot dogs and petit fours! :D

(Locke and Kai) ...

(Elizabeth) I'm going with Kuri. >.>

(Sonia) Me too.

(Rose) Oh Kai! Take me away, you ferocious jungle boy!

(Kai) How about no. >.>;;;

(Sonia) I'll bet the girls can find El Dorado before the guys do.

(Kai) ...Was that a challenge I just heard?

(Sonia) It was.

(Kai) ...Oh, you girls are already beat. Let's go, girly boy. *drags Locke away*

So they scour the forest in search of the legendary city! Finally, they meet again near beautiful, glistening golden gates!

(Kai) WHA? It's really here!

(Sonia) Wow, all this time I thought it was a joke, but we really found it!

They run to take a look inside the golden gates! And inside, they find...

(Locke) ...Tremble? What are you doing here? O_o

(Tremble) Easy. I found this place first, thanks to satellite imaging technology and my handy GPS. Motmot!

(Tremble's GPS Motmot) Yes, Tremble-sama?

(Tremble) Tell these trespassers how to get off my property.

(Motmot) Yes, sir. Go to the front gate. Shut front gate. Keep walking to cliff face, then turn "down."

(all) ...

(Locke) Your property?!

(Tremble) Well...actually, I just sold it to the King of Canada.

(all) ...

(Kai) ...Stupid rich dog.


3-13-09 - What's in YOUR Closet?

This session's question:

Dear Kai and Locke,

i bet you've got something nasty in your closet. i know you have at least one weird thing cause i'm phsycic... well i wanna know what weird things you have in your closet. i have a picture of Kai (cause your awsome and i'm your fangirl) , the picture of the neighbor girl that sprayed Kai in the face,a half eaten burger , and a dead guy. thank you!

P.S. i love kai!!
-Andie




(Kai) Psst. Locke. Look there.

(Locke) ...What.

(Kai) See? It says "I love Kai."

(Locke) ...It was probably a misprint.

(Kai) ...>.<;! HEY! MY FANGIRLS CAN BEAT YOUR FANGIRLS IN AN UNFAIR FIGHT!

(Locke) You don't say. Answer the question.

(Kai) ...Huh. So what DID I put in my closet? I haven't actually opened it in a few years. >.>;

(Locke) I'm afraid to ask, but...for the sake of AACF, maybe we should find out. O_o;

So Locke and Kai are automagically transported to Kai's room through the use of time lapse photography, a pit stop at Barry's House O' Grub, and the theme to the Hamster Dance!

Incidentally, this AACF has sponsored by Barry's House O' Grub. Remember, Grub spelled backward is Burg. Kind of like burger but without the "er." And their burgers are really good. So eat at Barry's House O' Grub, cuz they're taking the "er" out of "burger." And that's a good thing.

Meanwhile, back at Kai's room:

(Locke) This place is a dump! O_o

(Kai) Smells like Tremble's gym socks. O_o

(Locke) Tremble wears...?

...Oh never mind. Open the closet.

Kai opens the door. Inside, they find...a room full of rat-faced men in suits, sitting on mounds of trash!

(Kai) Whatthe...

(Locke) QUICK! CLOSE IT! It's the headquarters of the Dempublirat Party! GET OUT OF THERE, KAI!

(rat men) MORE MONEY. WE WANT YOUR VOTE. VOTE FOR US. WE ARE GOOD.

(Kai) ...@_@ Th-they got shiny lapel pins, Locke...getting hard to...resist...shiny...buttons...

(Locke) FIGHT IT, KAI! FIGHT IT!

(Kai) ...@_@

(The rat men suddenly began spewing a hypnotic mantra...) LEGISLATION BIPARTISON VOTE FOR US STIMULUS BILL ECONOMY PROMISES WAR AND FOREIGN OOOOOIL....

(Kai) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Locke) KAI! Chun Li is autographing her newest game next door!

(Kai) ...WHA? (slams the door on the rat men's heads) WHERE?! (zoom~)

(Locke) Whew. We almost didn't make it out alive. @_@

So, not surprisingly, Kai did not find his would-be queen Chun Li, nor was he able to propose to her with his vending-machine ring.

(Kai) Man, I'm NEVER gonna get to marry Chun Li at this rate.

(Locke) There there. >.> I'm sure you'll find some other girl who...uh...shares your interests or something.

(Kai) Okay, wise guy. What's in your closet?

So, after another pit stop of Barry's House O' Burg...uh...I mean Grub...and another quick Hamster Dance, they're at Locke's house. But...psst...just between you and me...don't eat at Barry's House O' Grub. You wanna know what the "er" in burger is? Well it's...

...AAAAAH! NO, BARRY! DON'T WAAAAAAAAH!

(Kai) ...You think we oughta help Ink?

(Locke) Nah. She'll be fine. Barry's therapy should kick in any time now.

(Kai opens Locke's closet. Inside, he sees...a beautiful paradise full of fountains and gardens and servants to wait on Locke's every need.

(Kai) WHAT?! WHAT IS THIS?!

(Locke) I think it's Shangri-la but I have yet to verify that.

(Kai) I HATE YOU. >.<;


2-27-09 - Bamboo

This session's question:

To all the girls in the comic:
Lately the Locke and Kai fangirls have been out of control... i mean REALLY out of control! I am one of them unfortunitally (for Locke, of course! w00t! \^o^/) .... but trying to be completely unbiased..... who do you guys (uhh... girls i mean) think is cuter!?!?!?! please do tell *lowers voice* everything! Even if its your deepest darkest secret *makes an obvious glare to Sonia*
-animelover




(Sonia) Why's she looking at me like that? o.o

(Rose) Cuz you got Locke on your face. Ahahaha!

(Sonia) HEY! What's that supposed to mean?

(Rose) Aww, c'mon Sonia. Everyone knows you like... *is hit by falling anvil*

(Sonia) ...*steps away slowly*

(Kuri) I think Locke is just adorable. ^__^ Except when he's mad. o.o;

(Elizabeth) He's hot when he's mad. My brother's just a big dumb panda-headed jerk.

(Kai, from somewhere in China) I HEARD THAT! *munch bamboo* Hey, this stuff is pretty good.

(Sonia) Well, this doesn't mean that I've got some deep dark secrets about me and Locke or anything. >.>; I mean...y'know...he's not bad to look at. He's not a bad gamer and his art's pretty cool. But I dunno...Kai's got his own charms, I guess.

(Elizabeth) He got them discounted at the dollar store.

(Rose, throwing off the anvil) @_@ Kai is the man. He's OBVIOUSLY the rebel. He's got a superior sense of fashion. And what you call "panda-head" is just a statement of his individuality. =n= I'm gonna get pink streaks in my hair, just for him!

(Kai, from somewhere in China) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

...

...

...Ow, this bamboo is #*&%$ SHARP!

(Rose) He's so cool. Except when he talks in symbols like that. Then he's just funny. XD;

(Elizabeth) I guess I don't understand the fascination. What's the best thing about him?

(Rose) Of course you don't see it; you're his sister! The best thing about Kai is the time he took me on a long, romantic walk on the beach. |3

(all) Oooooo. *sparkles*

(Sonia) ...There are beaches around Freeport? o.o;

(Rose) ...Okay, that was just my imagination. It was actually a ditch full of rainwater. =_= But it was still romantic!

(Elizabeth) He never does that. >.o What was he doing?

(Rose) ...

...Walking Tremble...

(Elizabeth) And he invited you?

(Rose) ...

...I followed him. =o=

(Elizabeth) I knew it.

(Sonia) He doesn't have a romantic bone in his body!

(Rose) NOT TRUE! There WAS the time that he KISSED me!

(all) Oooooo. *sparkles*

(Sonia) A KISS? Really? Kai? O___o;

(Rose) Uh huh. =n=

(Elizabeth) Where.

(Rose) ...

...My hand. >.>

(Elizabeth) Why.

(Rose) ...Because it was romantic. =n=

(Elizabeth) You had chocolate sauce on your hands, didn't you.

(Rose) It wasn't chocolate sauce but I didn't tell him that. =_=\

(Kai, from somewhere in China) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

...

...

...Hey, bamboo tastes pretty good in this natural chocolate sauce I found...


2-13-09 - Valenjerk's Day

This session's question:

JUST IN TIME FOR VALENTINE'S DAY:

Dear Kai and Rose,
Do you two like each other? If you do, then why haven't you become a couple yet? <3 I'm anxious to know!! X3
-Manga Star




(Kai, at his swingin' bachelor pad...no wait, it's his parents' house) Rose, huh? I've been hearing some speculation about that lately. Well, Manga Star, the fact of the matter is...

I'm cursed. Yes...cursed. Cursed with the love of many women...and how could I ever decide? So many girls love and adore me, Rose is simply one of the throngs standing outside my door at any given time.

(Meanwhile, outside his door, crickets are chirping)

(Kai) I'm like the Cupid of not-Greece, except I don't live on Olympus or Thunder Tower or wherever them god-people lived. And I shoot girls and they fall in love with ME. ^__^

(Ink) Isn't that a little...uh...narcissistic, Kai? >.> (speaking of mythology, you're not gonna get stuck staring at your own reflection, are you?)

(Kai) Sure. ^^ That's what makes me so great. Not like that namby-pamby Locke. I know what I want and I go for it.

(Ink) Then why haven't you gone after Rose yet? Eeeeeeveryone knows about those secret little "meetings" the two of you have. X3

(Kai) ...Meetings? What meetings. =n=

(Ink) Yoooou knoooow. X3

(Kai) I don't know nothing about no secret meetings!

(Ink) I bet Rose would disagree.

(Kai) ...O_O Don't listen to anything she says! Rock stars lie!

(Ink) >v>

(In a swirl of something that looks like a cheap glitter effect in a glass of water, Ink and Kai and magically transported to Rose's house, where Rose is sitting on the front porch, hair in curlers, green facial mask, wearing a robe and drinking a mocha latte for no apparent reason other than she likes her latte. A lot.)

(Kai) You seen Rose?

(Rose) ...�� I AM Rose.

(Kai) Right, Trogdor. Where's the babe?

(Rose) ...Grrr...I AM the babe!

(Kai) Sure, honey. ^^

(Rose) DON'T YOU EVEN RECOGNIZE MY VOICE.

(Kai) Well, you could be Rose's less-privileged sister or something.

(Rose) GRRR...*beats Kai with a guitar*

(Kai) OKAYOKAYIBELIEVEYOU *ow*

(Ink) And now you know why Kai and Rose will probably never be a couple. At least, not at this rate. ^^

(Rose dumps her latte on Kai's head) =n= Nobody told me it was Valenjerk's Day.


2-6-09 - Kai-School Musical

This session's question:

Dear Kai:

If your life was a musical, what would the songs be about?

~ MeiKemLaff




(spotlights shine down on a stage conveniently recycled from a previous AAC segment)

(Kai walks out on stage to pre-recorded applause and begins to sing)

If my life were a musical...

We'd sing of power and fortune and fame
and I'd have pretty girls keep repeating my name!

(girls in background) KAAAAAI MITCHELL!

(Kai) They'd sing of how fearless and handsome I am
and when someone gets stuck in a jarful of jam

(girls in background) They call KAAAAAI MITCHELL!

(Kai) You may think I'm a self-centered heel
But come on, just admit it, you know I'm ideal!
If you don't believe me, just ask all my friends!

(Sonia, dancing across the stage) He's reliable until he runs out of Depends!

(Kai) ...

(spotlight on Elizabeth, Kuri and Rose)

(Kuri) Once upon a time...

(Elizabeth) ...so long ago...

(Rose) ...there was a poor little dog...

(Tremble crawls across the stage)

(Kuri) He lost his home...

(Elizabeth) ...so weak and so cold...

(Rose) ...and he lived in an overturned log.

(all three girls) What will Kai do...?

(Kai, charging in) I'll take that small dog and I'll make him a star!
He'll benchpress 150 and drive a fast car!
All the women will love him, so saith Kai!
I'll just give him the gift of the coolness that's I!

(Sonia) "That's I?"

(Kai) That's I!
Rise up little dog, and FLY!

(Tremble) ...

(Kai) (Sing, dog!)

(Tremble) (Oh, very well. e_e)
My master has saved me, and I must confess
that I have a good home and I feel very blessed.
In all good things I see room for improvement
So now I suggest a valid new movement.
You see, for so long, our good friend named Kai
has more aspirations than stars in the sky.
He wants to be this and he wants to be that
but he sleeps on the lawn like a lazy housecat.

(Kai) HEY!

(Tremble) I hear on the wind he's a fine superhero
And when running for office his opponents are zero.
When he runs into battle, his opponents doth flee
And someday he'll marry his new queen Chun Li.

Now I've heard all the hype and I've heard all the rumor
But the truth is, he grows like a vain hypertumor.
He'll swallow us whole with humility none
And destroy the world with his idiot gun.

So I say to my friends, to my pals, to my kin,
if what he says is true, then he must not win!
Let him keep his conceit and his glory and doom!
Make him go sit in the cell called his room!
His nose to the corner, his eyes to the wall
and play the world news just to make his skin crawl!
And then when he's broken and free of delusion
he will come to the perfectly normal conclusion
that Kai, beloved Kai, is not meant for fame.
So shut up, sit down, and start programming that game.

Before I kick your butt.

(girls in background) KAAAAAI MITCHELL! Humble pie!

(Kai) ...Stupid dog.


1-30-09 - Another World

This session's question:

Dear Game Plan! cast:

What is the strangest dream that each of you has ever had?

~ MelMak




(Kai) I had this dream once where all my Street Fighter action figures came to life and...

*A hammer flies out of nowhere and bonks Kai on the head*

(Sonia) Not interested. =n= I've got a REALLY bizarre dream to tell about. One that would make your chibi whiny Street Fighter baby figure collection look like a jar of raspberry mayonnaise!

(Ink) ...Ew.

(Kai) WHAT?! YOU BETTER NOT TALK TRASH ABOUT THE BEST FIGHTING GAME EVAR! �__�

(Sonia) My dream takes place in the fuuuuture. *glisten*

(mysteriously appearing crowd) Woooo...o.o

(Kai) ...I'm listening.

There's a nearby THUD.

(Sonia) What the heck? O_o

(Elizabeth) Sorry, the flashback machine is broken. You just gotta shake the camera and pretend it's all flashback-ey and stuff.

(Sonia) SHAKE THE CAMERA, SLAVE!

(Kai) Fine, fine. e_e *shakes camera*

~Woooo...mysterious shaky flashback effect~

(Sonia walks into the arcade...OF THE FUTURE!) HERE I AM! PH34R ME!

(People all around gasp...and hide) D:

(Nearby, two heroes suddenly appear! ...well, ok, it's just Victor and Elijah, dressed in tinfoil)

(Victor) YOU WON'T GET AWAY FROM US THIS TIME, STUPID WOMAN! >o

(Sonia) ...Are you talking to me?

ARE YOU TALKING TO ME, N00B?!

(Victor) >o DARN RIGHT I'M TALKING TO YOU, FREAK!

(Elijah) I don't have a weapon. ;o; *looks at fists*

(Sonia) No one, including a spiky-headed pretty boy, is going to stop me from taking over this arcade! ALL j00r HIGH SCORE BELONG TO SONIA, THE QUEEN OF GAMERS!

(Victor) WANNA BET?! >o Our armor will deflect your stupid EVIL GAMER GIRL ATTACKS, so don't get any wise ideas!

SALMON OF DOOM! ATTACK! (Victor pulls out a huge laser-based fish and swings it around, whacking Elijah accidentally)

(Elijah) @.@;;;;

(Sonia) ...Uh...friendly f1r3? >.>;

SUP3R KAI-BOT! GO!

(Super Kai-Bot stomps into the room) J00 \/\| | LL b3 D3PH34T3D. A|\|D 1 PWN J00.

(Victor) ...AHAHAHAHA! WHAT IS -THAT-?! It's more like Super WUSS-BOT.

(the robot's head pops off and Kai looks out) WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY.

(Victor) WUSS-BOT. What are ya, stupid? Deaf? An idiotopus? >O

(Elijah) This won't end well. o.o; *Back away~*

(Kai) ...I...I JUST USED THOSE INSULTS THIS MORNING! Where did you get so good at insulting people? D:

(Victor) I LEARNED THEM FROM MY FISTS. And come to think of it, both of em wanna say "HI" to your FACE!

(Kai) Yeah? (gets out of robot suit) I'm a black belt, ya know.

(Sonia) This is so not going according to plan, y0.

(Victor) Uhh...yeah. Right. >.> Pff.

(Elijah, to Sonia) ...let's leave and go get some ice cream before Victor starts screaming for mercy. o.o

(Sonia) Ok4y. *shrug*

(Kai cracks his knuckles) It's go time.

(Victor) FAMOUS SLAP-WITH-FISH ATTACK! >o *Slapslapslap*

(Kai grabs the fish) ...>v> Please tell me you did NOT just announce your attack. FAIL!

(Victor) ... �__� WHADDAYA MEAN, "FAIL"?!

(Kai) FAIL! P-H-A-...L! FAIL!

(Victor) ...uhh...

*Crickets*

...

*Regal drives by in a clown car behind them*

(Kai) ...

...You know what I just realized?

(Victor) Whazzat. >.o

We act the same, we talk the same, we kinda dress the same, and we kinda look similar. O_o So why are we fighting? Why don't we...TEAM UP AGAINST THOSE GUYS! (point to ice-cream holding Sonia and Elijah~)

(Victor) ...heeeeey, I LIKE that!

(Elijah) ...o.o *Scoop of ice cream falls off of cone*

(Sonia) ...

...My subjects are betraying me! PhL33! ;o;

(Elijah) D: *Run~*

(Victor chases with fish) WAHAHAHA!

(Sonia, running into the distance) I'll get j00 for this, Kai! I'llllll geeeet j00000000!

~shaky camera flash forward effect~

(Sonia) And that was the weirdest dream I ever had.

(Elizabeth) That felt strangely...co-written.

(Sonia) Noitwasn'tImadeitup. >.>

THE END!

...or is it? DUN DUN DUN!

(Regal drives by in a clown car)